Should I stay or should I go???

These are the questions I ask my self EVERY DAY! How long should I stay at the NICU? Is it bad I want to go to my parents to shower, eat a home cooked meal and sleep in a bed? Since my babies are in isolettes will they bond with me? Will they know that I leave after 8-10 and even some 12 hr days? Are we bonding the way a momma and her babies should? When will they tolerate their feeds better without spitting up? And the list goes on, and on, and on....
I did meet one of the other mothers up here yesterday. It was nice to be able to discuss some stuff that our babies are going through. We talked about the time spent up here and both shared that we were some of the only mothers up here. There are 30 plus rooms in the NICU and 5...yes 5 sets of twins and she and one other mother are the only ones I see up here. It is insane. I even heard that a few years ago a couple of quads in the NICU went on a cruise while their babies were in here! I am going to have to run to Fairfax sometime next week and I am fretting over if that is too far to be away from the babies...I can't even imagine going on a cruise out of the STINKING country!! Really?!?
So, I have people telling me I need to be here 24/7 but I have nurses telling me to go home and get some rest....
This is not in your typical "What to expect while you are expecting" or "What to expect the first year" book. There is no right or wrong...or that is how I feel...about the NICU. I have a wonderful support team of nurses, PT, OT, social worker, charge nurses and doctors here. But it is nice to get away sometimes....because I KNOW that my babies are ok and being taken care of. I KNOW that we will make it out of here. Yes, it is hard "saying goodnight" to them and telling them "see ya in the morning baby" but we are able to call 24/7...and we do. Chris calls after their 8pm assesment and checks their weight and how they are doing, and then he calls me to report to me...since he probably gets tired of me reporting to him all day, and then I call if I wake up in the middle of the night, and then again when I get up in the morning...usually around 5:30-6am to see how their night was and to mentally prepare me for the day.
So, should I stay or should I go? Well no one can answer that question for me. I just pray daily that God will be with my babies, while I am here or not, with the nurses dealing with my babies and with the Dr.'s. That is all I can do, because there is no "what to expects" in the NICU. It is ALL in God's hands. My babies are doing great. They are not on vents, or oxygen, or have any problems besides for spit ups...
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers...keep them coming because I know I need them, as well as Chris and the babies...Hopefully we are down to 3-4 more weeks!!