Well our babies are no longer NICU babies....they are PICU babies (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit). Last night before Chris and I left they discussed with us that they may move them to PICU because of shortage of staffing in the NICU. When we called to check on the babies at 10:30 last night, they were not going to move them but we insisted that they call us if they did....so at 2:24 this morning the siren ringtone went off on my phone...at first my heart stopped but Chris rolled over to answer it and they were calling to tell us that they were moving the Nuggets. I instantly wanted to get up and come up here with them but Chris said we needed to get our rest.
When we got up here, of course we got lost because this hospital has so many stinking wings to it and we kept taking the wrong elevators and parking in the wrong spots...but we FINALLY made it to see our precious PICU babies....but let me back up a bit:
When I first found out they were being moved, I was mad, frustrated and nervous because we have spent the past 4 weeks in the NICU with the same nurses, doctors, other mothers and familiar faces...so I was concerned about the "new staff" and new faces that I would be around for the majority of my day as well as who would be taking care of my babies. Plus I had met some great people in the NICU and I was going to miss them.
But anways, we got up here after finally finding it and were greeted with smiling and friendly faces. Their new "room" is decorated in the solar system, their stuffed animals were already put in the room for them and their family pictures were put in their cribs so they could see them. And the best part (according to Chris) is that we have a lazy boy and a TV in our "new home". They had put Payge in a new cute outfit and put a bow on her so I was instantly happy. The PICU is a lot smaller and more intimate setting for an intensive unit. There are only about 6 rooms and usually only have 6-8 babies at a time. The nursing staff is a lot smaller but so far so good.
The babies will still see the same physician, NP, OT, PT and speech therapist so there will still be some familiar faces around for us, which makes me feel a little more comfortable.
Parker is still having brady's but luckily he is recovering still on his own. We discussed them with the NP today and she said that he is fine and will grow out of them...and the sooner he does the sooner we get to go home. They are still going to leave Payge on the ND feeding but we are going to give her 10mL 3x a day and see how she tolerates them.
Thank you God for being with me and the babies as we step out of our comfort zone and begin a new week in a different unit. God please be with Parker and his Brady's and be with Payge and help her tolerate her full feedings. Thank you for being with us, for keeping me strong and faithful and for using others to help us during this time. Thank you for Chris and our wonderful weekends together. God please just keep guiding us during this time. God also be with ALL the other babies of NICU and their mommies...it is a tough place to be but with YOU God all things are possible.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
A pair of shoes..
How often do we get ready in the morning and put our shoes on last? Left foot than right foot. Easy as that. But...what if we didn't have a right foot? Would it still be easy to put our shoes on? Do we truly know what its like to walk in "someone's elses' shoes?" Do we worry about our own "shoes" too many times and get wrapped up in putting on the left one and then right one and forget it could be worse.....
After my "pity party" yesterday, it hit me. God has a way of hitting me with a left hook every now and then when I need it, and He said "Amanda, do you know how lucky you are? Do you not know the blessings I have given you? Yes, the NICU stinks (yep God said stinks) BUT you have not only 1 but TWO very precious, very healthy babies and you will be going home one day. (and in home He meant Fairfax, not Heaven)." My reply "God, when? When will we go home? Why? Why are we here?" His response:
Meeting a mother of a baby that was born at 26 weeks that is just now almost 3 lbs, whom herself has health problems....seeing a transport team have to transport a set of newborn twins because of medical reasons..meeting a little boy in the NICU waiting room that still hasn't got to meet his baby brother "because he is just too little, but the dr's will help him"...hearing the story of a mother that this was her 6th pregnancy (she lost the first 5!!) and their child was still born premature and in NICU....
My response: Hit my knees and thank GOD that I have TWO precious babies, merciful prayer and thanksgiving to Jesus who has blessed me.
So, when your "shoes" may not be looking quite up to par...remember that you have "shoes" and you are blessed because you never know what it might be like to walk in someone elses' shoes.
Thank you God, for not only blessing me with 2 feet but a pair of shoes that are ok to walk in. Thank you for blessing me with 2 precious babies that are healthy and will be going home (in YOUR time). Thank you God for the left hooks that wake me up and make me feel so blessed that I have you as my savior and friend...I have you to talk to, to guide me and to comfort me. Thank you God that even though Parker is still having several Brady's that he recovers on his own and never has to be revived. Thank you God that even though Payge is having problems with her feedings that she is still able to gain weight and grown and God I know that you will be with her belly and feedings. Thank you God....for my "pair of shoes."
After my "pity party" yesterday, it hit me. God has a way of hitting me with a left hook every now and then when I need it, and He said "Amanda, do you know how lucky you are? Do you not know the blessings I have given you? Yes, the NICU stinks (yep God said stinks) BUT you have not only 1 but TWO very precious, very healthy babies and you will be going home one day. (and in home He meant Fairfax, not Heaven)." My reply "God, when? When will we go home? Why? Why are we here?" His response:
Meeting a mother of a baby that was born at 26 weeks that is just now almost 3 lbs, whom herself has health problems....seeing a transport team have to transport a set of newborn twins because of medical reasons..meeting a little boy in the NICU waiting room that still hasn't got to meet his baby brother "because he is just too little, but the dr's will help him"...hearing the story of a mother that this was her 6th pregnancy (she lost the first 5!!) and their child was still born premature and in NICU....
My response: Hit my knees and thank GOD that I have TWO precious babies, merciful prayer and thanksgiving to Jesus who has blessed me.
So, when your "shoes" may not be looking quite up to par...remember that you have "shoes" and you are blessed because you never know what it might be like to walk in someone elses' shoes.
Thank you God, for not only blessing me with 2 feet but a pair of shoes that are ok to walk in. Thank you for blessing me with 2 precious babies that are healthy and will be going home (in YOUR time). Thank you God for the left hooks that wake me up and make me feel so blessed that I have you as my savior and friend...I have you to talk to, to guide me and to comfort me. Thank you God that even though Parker is still having several Brady's that he recovers on his own and never has to be revived. Thank you God that even though Payge is having problems with her feedings that she is still able to gain weight and grown and God I know that you will be with her belly and feedings. Thank you God....for my "pair of shoes."
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Even on my weakest days... (Thank you Sara Evans)
"Woke up late today....
But I'm telling myself it will be ok....
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried...
Even on my weakest days...I get a little bit stronger.....
I get a little bit stronger....."
I started this blog because I needed a way to let my feelings come out. I am a strong person-or at least try to be. I have faith instilled inside of me, but everyone has weak days. Right? Its ok to cry, or at least want to, correct? The overwhelming emotions are taking over today....and HELLO BRICK WALL!! People say "be strong for those babies" or "God will not give you more than you can handle" or "they are doing great, hang in there you will be home soon..." and all of this advice is so so correct, but there are times when you still have to cry. But, sometimes its hard to cry...its hard to just admit that you need to cry because you fear looking frowned upon or that you don't have faith...Well CRAP!
I have faith. Frown on me if you want!! Tell me all the advice you want....I'm still going to cry at times.
The shortest verse in the Bible John 11:35 "Jesus Wept." It's considered the shortest verse in the Bible but it shows how tender and soft Jesus is, and envinces His character as a man.
Parker has been nippling all his feeds for the past several days, but his Brady's have increased....they are going to try to up the caffeine-BUT we can't go home until he has no Brady's for 3 days on the medicine and then 3 days off the meds...so....
Payge is up and down with nippling her feeds.....we can't go home until she nipples all of her feeds in less than 30 minutes.....so....
So, Amanda Wept. It doesn't mean I don't have faith, it doesn't mean that I don't know that God is right here with me, it doesn't mean I am a failure as a mom, that I don't know that I can handle this, or that I am not strong. It means that I am tender, I am in need of comfort and that I am human.
"Even on my weakest of days....I get a little bit STRONGER..."
Thank you God for two precious babies and Lord please just be with my babies and help them grow and get strong and help me be strong for them, even on my weakest of days. God thank you for all the blessings you have given Chris and I and please continue to be with us and our families as we know that you will not give us more than we can handle but sometimes God we just need a little extra "umph" to help us get through that brick wall.
But I'm telling myself it will be ok....
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried...
Even on my weakest days...I get a little bit stronger.....
I get a little bit stronger....."
I started this blog because I needed a way to let my feelings come out. I am a strong person-or at least try to be. I have faith instilled inside of me, but everyone has weak days. Right? Its ok to cry, or at least want to, correct? The overwhelming emotions are taking over today....and HELLO BRICK WALL!! People say "be strong for those babies" or "God will not give you more than you can handle" or "they are doing great, hang in there you will be home soon..." and all of this advice is so so correct, but there are times when you still have to cry. But, sometimes its hard to cry...its hard to just admit that you need to cry because you fear looking frowned upon or that you don't have faith...Well CRAP!
I have faith. Frown on me if you want!! Tell me all the advice you want....I'm still going to cry at times.
The shortest verse in the Bible John 11:35 "Jesus Wept." It's considered the shortest verse in the Bible but it shows how tender and soft Jesus is, and envinces His character as a man.
Parker has been nippling all his feeds for the past several days, but his Brady's have increased....they are going to try to up the caffeine-BUT we can't go home until he has no Brady's for 3 days on the medicine and then 3 days off the meds...so....
Payge is up and down with nippling her feeds.....we can't go home until she nipples all of her feeds in less than 30 minutes.....so....
So, Amanda Wept. It doesn't mean I don't have faith, it doesn't mean that I don't know that God is right here with me, it doesn't mean I am a failure as a mom, that I don't know that I can handle this, or that I am not strong. It means that I am tender, I am in need of comfort and that I am human.
"Even on my weakest of days....I get a little bit STRONGER..."
Thank you God for two precious babies and Lord please just be with my babies and help them grow and get strong and help me be strong for them, even on my weakest of days. God thank you for all the blessings you have given Chris and I and please continue to be with us and our families as we know that you will not give us more than we can handle but sometimes God we just need a little extra "umph" to help us get through that brick wall.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
M. O. M.
What is important? What is a priority?
Well, let me begin by saying that what USED to be important, no longer is, and my top priorities have now changed...and it all began when I became a mom. Mom. Its crazy how those three little letters create such a strong desire to love, cherish, fret, stress, bond, cry, etc....
Growing up I had (and still do) one of the greatest mom's ever. I totally took advantage of it. My mom was the one that drove us to softball and baseball games, that played in the back yard with us, that took us to the park on nice days, that made sure we were never left out, mistreated or had to sacrifice for anyone or anything. M. O. M. and in return...I chose to be a daddy's girl, stay out WAY too late, run with the wrong crowd at times and even mistreat my mom....
Still to this day, when I have a bad day...I call Mom. When I mess up....I call Mom. When I need help financially, emotionally, mentally, physically....I call Mom. I pray that one day, even if it is 27 years from now, and Parker and Payge need me...that they will know that they can ALWAYS call me.
Being a MOM is one of the greatest feelings in the world. When Parker is screaming and throwing his fits (where does he get that type of behavior?? :) ) and I can hold his hand and talk to him and he calms down because he knows that his MOM is there and will help him. When Payge grabs my finger to hold while I sing to her, or how she likes it when I rub her little forehead...there is nothing else that matters. What mattered before....clothes, money, toys, etc....NO LONGER MATTER!! I am a MOM. They day they say "Momma" (which is hopefully before they say "Dada") I will cry...not doubt about it.
Yesterday, when Payge took a complete feeding through a bottle, I cried. I was so proud and excited for her!! I had to leave NICU, go out to my car to sit and call Chris. I was overwhelmed with joy. This morning, when the Dr came in and said we can take out Parker's feeding tube...it hit me that this will be the first time I get to see his beautiful face without any tubes, wires or crud up his nose, down his throat, etc...and of course I cried again. Since I am no longer pregnant, I can no longer blame it on the hormones. But, I can blame it on being a MOM.
Being a mom is something I have always desired and something that I have prayed about and prayed about for many years...Thank you God for answering my prayers, thank you for giving me such a wonderful man to share this dream with and thank you for my own amazing mom who taught me oh so many things!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God." Philippians 4:6
Well, let me begin by saying that what USED to be important, no longer is, and my top priorities have now changed...and it all began when I became a mom. Mom. Its crazy how those three little letters create such a strong desire to love, cherish, fret, stress, bond, cry, etc....
Growing up I had (and still do) one of the greatest mom's ever. I totally took advantage of it. My mom was the one that drove us to softball and baseball games, that played in the back yard with us, that took us to the park on nice days, that made sure we were never left out, mistreated or had to sacrifice for anyone or anything. M. O. M. and in return...I chose to be a daddy's girl, stay out WAY too late, run with the wrong crowd at times and even mistreat my mom....
Still to this day, when I have a bad day...I call Mom. When I mess up....I call Mom. When I need help financially, emotionally, mentally, physically....I call Mom. I pray that one day, even if it is 27 years from now, and Parker and Payge need me...that they will know that they can ALWAYS call me.
Being a MOM is one of the greatest feelings in the world. When Parker is screaming and throwing his fits (where does he get that type of behavior?? :) ) and I can hold his hand and talk to him and he calms down because he knows that his MOM is there and will help him. When Payge grabs my finger to hold while I sing to her, or how she likes it when I rub her little forehead...there is nothing else that matters. What mattered before....clothes, money, toys, etc....NO LONGER MATTER!! I am a MOM. They day they say "Momma" (which is hopefully before they say "Dada") I will cry...not doubt about it.
Yesterday, when Payge took a complete feeding through a bottle, I cried. I was so proud and excited for her!! I had to leave NICU, go out to my car to sit and call Chris. I was overwhelmed with joy. This morning, when the Dr came in and said we can take out Parker's feeding tube...it hit me that this will be the first time I get to see his beautiful face without any tubes, wires or crud up his nose, down his throat, etc...and of course I cried again. Since I am no longer pregnant, I can no longer blame it on the hormones. But, I can blame it on being a MOM.
Being a mom is something I have always desired and something that I have prayed about and prayed about for many years...Thank you God for answering my prayers, thank you for giving me such a wonderful man to share this dream with and thank you for my own amazing mom who taught me oh so many things!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God." Philippians 4:6
Monday, April 25, 2011
On Eagles Wings....
One of my favorite memories while growing up is going to basketball camp with my dad. We would go all over, even though I was too young to be at the camp, I always got o participate...well until I got bored that is and decided to go swimming, or hang out with the coach's in their lounge and watch TV. Growing up I was a "Sequoyah Eagle" and my dad told me to always take pride in whatever you were and whatever you were doing. I took that to the extreme. There was a coach there that was a "Claremore Zebra" and at a young age I could never fathom the idea of a red striped zebra!! This famous coach would always say "Zebra's are fast and can out run other animals..." and I would respond "well Eagles can fly...." I would also sing "Rather be dead than red...rather be dead than red..." For many years these were my responses to his "Red Zebra's can out run other animals..." but I was always proud to be a "soaring Eagle...."
Fast forward many many years....and I feel like would rather still be an Eagle. Sure Zebra's are fast, and pretty, and strong....but Eagles are mentioned in the Bible a number of times. When does God talk about Red Zebras??? (http://www.watchmanbiblestudy.com/)
God uses the Eagle in the Bible for strength, protection, swiftness, renewed youth...etc
"Those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
Those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They shall mount up with wings
with wings like Eagles
They shall run and not grow weary
They shall walk and not faint"-"Wings like Eagles" Don Moen
So, as another week begins here in the NICU...I look back and remember that my dad told me to always take pride in who I am and what I am doing...
I am a Christian-and I will wait on the Lord to renew my strength
I am a Mom-so I will not grow weary
I am a wife-so I shall not faint
and I am an Eagle-with God being my Leader, and I will allow Him to provide for me and renew my strenght even when I grow weary or faint.....
Parker: 5lbs 14.8oz
Payge: 5lbs 4.3oz
PAYGE TOOK A BOTTLE LAST NIGHT! 13 mills from a bottle!!! WAY TO GO PEANUT!!
Fast forward many many years....and I feel like would rather still be an Eagle. Sure Zebra's are fast, and pretty, and strong....but Eagles are mentioned in the Bible a number of times. When does God talk about Red Zebras??? (http://www.watchmanbiblestudy.com/)
God uses the Eagle in the Bible for strength, protection, swiftness, renewed youth...etc
"Those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
Those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They shall mount up with wings
with wings like Eagles
They shall run and not grow weary
They shall walk and not faint"-"Wings like Eagles" Don Moen
So, as another week begins here in the NICU...I look back and remember that my dad told me to always take pride in who I am and what I am doing...
I am a Christian-and I will wait on the Lord to renew my strength
I am a Mom-so I will not grow weary
I am a wife-so I shall not faint
and I am an Eagle-with God being my Leader, and I will allow Him to provide for me and renew my strenght even when I grow weary or faint.....
Parker: 5lbs 14.8oz
Payge: 5lbs 4.3oz
PAYGE TOOK A BOTTLE LAST NIGHT! 13 mills from a bottle!!! WAY TO GO PEANUT!!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
What doesn't break you only makes you stronger....
It's been a while since I have posted and I apologize for that. It has been a crazy past few days. Thursday morning I came up here for a few hours and then I went home--to Fairfax--to see my Pre K kiddos for their Easter Egg Hunt and to take care of some stuff. It had been almost 4 weeks since I had been "home" and it was so nice...but part of me felt guilty for leaving the babies to do house work and paper work. Luckily we had a great nurse that day and she didn't mind me calling every couple of hours to see how they were doing. It was so nice to be "home" and see the kids at the elementary and my wonderful friends and co workers whom I have missed so much!! The prayers, thoughts, calls, texts and gifts that they send are so amazing and I am truly blessed to work with such great people.
Friday I came back and it was so hard leaving Chris because I was torn between wanting to go to his baseball game (I have only made it to one game this year!!) and rushing back to see the babies. Friday was a busy day for us at the NICU. They had to be re-assessed by the OT, Parker got refitted for his new left splint, Payge had a session with the speech therapist....Needless to say I think I made the right decision by choosing the babies over a baseball game.
When Chris finally made it in yesterday evening, the babies were doing great and we had our usual weekend nurse "Miss Daisy" whom we just love so much and who has a mutual understanding with Parker-who is known as the "fit thrower of NICU" and so we were ok knowing that the kiddos would be in good hands....luckily we have some pretty awesome nurses up here who let Chris and I be the best parents we can possibly be, and who answer questions or concerns we have as well as provide support and encouragement for us during this time.
This morning we got up to go visit our wonderful niece Brooklynne. She is so adorable!! I-her Lame Aunt (the boys call me this because I ALWAYS buy them books) got to feed her!! Let me tell you what...that girl likes to eat!! It was so precious giving her her bottle and being able to bond with her. I can not wait until her and the nuggets get a little older and we start the photo sessions, play dates, and just all the holidays we have to look forward to with our growing family.
Parker is definately his mother's son. Bless his little heart he is high strung and loves the attention. All the nurses here know "Henderson Baby A" or "Sir Parker" and they can tell his scream from down the hall! When I walk in, you can just see the look of sympathy they give me. Lol. Bless his heart. The past few days he has had his nights and days mixed up, so one of the night shift nurses decided to put him in the bouncy seat. They said he loved it!! They went to make the rest of their rounds and a few minutes later heard him screaming from down the hall...they went to pick him up and he pooped all over them, the seat and out of his outfit!! He was fine after that!! Needless to say he got a bath and they didn't try the seat anymore that night!! He is now 5lbs and 11.9oz and taking a bottle every 3 hours. He is such a cute little guy with such a fun personality already! He is still having Brady's....boo to those!
Payge the Peanut is just that. She is finally over 5lbs but she is still so tiny and precious. She takes after her daddy and is just pretty laid back. She is having problems with the suck/swallow/breath reflex and the speech therapist has given us several ideas and pointers to help her. She gets so stressed out over brother-imagine that- that by "bottle time" she is just so uninterested!! She is 5lbs 2.2oz and is on a continuous feeding tube. She is as cute as a button and she will wrinkle her nose and eyebrows up when Parker throws one of his fits. Thank God that she is so laid back!! Once we get the suck/swallow/breath thing down she will start taking her feedings in a bottle and she will be just fine!!
Being here is hard. Seeing people bring their car seats up for the car seat test is hard. Seeing people leave is hard. Being away from Chris is very very hard. But God never said it would be easy. He just said He would be there every step of the way. And He has been. He has been there to provide for us financially, emotionally, mentally and physically. I pray daily that God will be with my babies, the nurses and drs and Chris and I....I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my side-even when he is 90miles away-Chris is right there with me. Learning the hard way, life is hard. Life is not fair. But if you have faith in God and believe that HE is right there with you, even in the darkest of days, the hardest of times...then you will make it through it. "If you're going through Hell, keep on moving..." "Life ain't always beautiful....but the troubles make you wiser..."
Thank you God...for 2 very precious miracles babies who have helped me grow stronger in my faith, closer to my husband and become a better person. Thank you family and friends for being there for Chris and I and the nuggets..for the thoughts, visits, texts, and the prayers....especially the prayers. Without God, prayers and faith....this would have broken us....but with it all we will only continue to become stronger.
Friday I came back and it was so hard leaving Chris because I was torn between wanting to go to his baseball game (I have only made it to one game this year!!) and rushing back to see the babies. Friday was a busy day for us at the NICU. They had to be re-assessed by the OT, Parker got refitted for his new left splint, Payge had a session with the speech therapist....Needless to say I think I made the right decision by choosing the babies over a baseball game.
When Chris finally made it in yesterday evening, the babies were doing great and we had our usual weekend nurse "Miss Daisy" whom we just love so much and who has a mutual understanding with Parker-who is known as the "fit thrower of NICU" and so we were ok knowing that the kiddos would be in good hands....luckily we have some pretty awesome nurses up here who let Chris and I be the best parents we can possibly be, and who answer questions or concerns we have as well as provide support and encouragement for us during this time.
This morning we got up to go visit our wonderful niece Brooklynne. She is so adorable!! I-her Lame Aunt (the boys call me this because I ALWAYS buy them books) got to feed her!! Let me tell you what...that girl likes to eat!! It was so precious giving her her bottle and being able to bond with her. I can not wait until her and the nuggets get a little older and we start the photo sessions, play dates, and just all the holidays we have to look forward to with our growing family.
Parker is definately his mother's son. Bless his little heart he is high strung and loves the attention. All the nurses here know "Henderson Baby A" or "Sir Parker" and they can tell his scream from down the hall! When I walk in, you can just see the look of sympathy they give me. Lol. Bless his heart. The past few days he has had his nights and days mixed up, so one of the night shift nurses decided to put him in the bouncy seat. They said he loved it!! They went to make the rest of their rounds and a few minutes later heard him screaming from down the hall...they went to pick him up and he pooped all over them, the seat and out of his outfit!! He was fine after that!! Needless to say he got a bath and they didn't try the seat anymore that night!! He is now 5lbs and 11.9oz and taking a bottle every 3 hours. He is such a cute little guy with such a fun personality already! He is still having Brady's....boo to those!
Payge the Peanut is just that. She is finally over 5lbs but she is still so tiny and precious. She takes after her daddy and is just pretty laid back. She is having problems with the suck/swallow/breath reflex and the speech therapist has given us several ideas and pointers to help her. She gets so stressed out over brother-imagine that- that by "bottle time" she is just so uninterested!! She is 5lbs 2.2oz and is on a continuous feeding tube. She is as cute as a button and she will wrinkle her nose and eyebrows up when Parker throws one of his fits. Thank God that she is so laid back!! Once we get the suck/swallow/breath thing down she will start taking her feedings in a bottle and she will be just fine!!
Being here is hard. Seeing people bring their car seats up for the car seat test is hard. Seeing people leave is hard. Being away from Chris is very very hard. But God never said it would be easy. He just said He would be there every step of the way. And He has been. He has been there to provide for us financially, emotionally, mentally and physically. I pray daily that God will be with my babies, the nurses and drs and Chris and I....I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my side-even when he is 90miles away-Chris is right there with me. Learning the hard way, life is hard. Life is not fair. But if you have faith in God and believe that HE is right there with you, even in the darkest of days, the hardest of times...then you will make it through it. "If you're going through Hell, keep on moving..." "Life ain't always beautiful....but the troubles make you wiser..."
Thank you God...for 2 very precious miracles babies who have helped me grow stronger in my faith, closer to my husband and become a better person. Thank you family and friends for being there for Chris and I and the nuggets..for the thoughts, visits, texts, and the prayers....especially the prayers. Without God, prayers and faith....this would have broken us....but with it all we will only continue to become stronger.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Giving Tree....
"The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein has always been one of my favorite books. If you are not familiar with it you need to check out http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/show60911-Shel-Silverstein-The-Giving-Tree
The poem talks about love, giving, providing, and understanding. It doesn't talke about being appreciative, greatful or thankful for those who provide for you, love you and help you even when they may not have all that they need...
Through out this process with the babies, Chris and I have had our own Giving Tree. We have had prayers, gas cards, meals, phone calls, books, hugs, etc provided for us, and just when we feel like we are at the end of our rope, "the giving tree" kicks in. When I had to miss my Pre K class' music program, another teacher video taped it for me and sent it with Chris....it brought tears to my eyes because only another teacher would know how important that would be. When we thought Chris wouldn't be able to drive back and forth much longer because of gas prices, a love offering for gas money was taken, gift cards were given...God provided for us thru "the giving tree." On the weekends when Chris does get to make it up, it is hard to go grab a bite to eat, "the giving tree" delivered us lunch last weekend, one couple took us out to eat, a manager at a resturant took care of our bill when he heard through a mutual friend that our babies were in the NICU...or a home cooked meal was waiting at my parents for us. When the devil appears stronger than we can handle, "the giving tree" calls us and offers us words of encouragement, faith, hope and strength. Our Giving Tree is so much more than we can even fully grasp sometimes. God provides through our Giving Tree, and even though it is not mentioned in the poem, Chris and I are VERY greatful, thankful and truly blessed beyond words.
Parker had an EKG yesterday morning because they thought he had a heart murmur...then the Speech Path came in to work with Peanut because she is having problems with the suck/swallow/breath reflex and her gag reflex is making it a negative experience for her...then the OT/PT came in to work with their necks because they are starting to favor their right side (which I think we all do) but it can cause damage and shortening of their muscles if we don't start working on it now, and then the PT had to work with Parker's feet.....so needless to say yesterday was a long, emotionally busy day. Well, this morning I walked in a little bummed out-thinking that the devil was going to win the battle today....but we have a WONDERFUL nurse today, the doctor on call came by and said (or what I could understand) that "no worry about heart, he be ok." then Speech Path came in and said sister just not ready yet to nipple her feedings and lets just let her mature a little bit more before we try to force her....so thank you God for helping me kick that devil's butt today by giving me great nurses, dr's and staff members of the NICU!
Weights: Parker is now 5lbs 5.2oz and Payge is 4lbs 12.4oz
Parker is still having Brady's-5 last night I think
Payge is still spitting up but it has minimzed and PT and Speech Path think it is related to gag reflux
Thank you God for providing us with a "Giving Tree" and even thought words can't even begin to express our gratitude...if you have been a part of our "Giving Tree" THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU!!
The poem talks about love, giving, providing, and understanding. It doesn't talke about being appreciative, greatful or thankful for those who provide for you, love you and help you even when they may not have all that they need...
Through out this process with the babies, Chris and I have had our own Giving Tree. We have had prayers, gas cards, meals, phone calls, books, hugs, etc provided for us, and just when we feel like we are at the end of our rope, "the giving tree" kicks in. When I had to miss my Pre K class' music program, another teacher video taped it for me and sent it with Chris....it brought tears to my eyes because only another teacher would know how important that would be. When we thought Chris wouldn't be able to drive back and forth much longer because of gas prices, a love offering for gas money was taken, gift cards were given...God provided for us thru "the giving tree." On the weekends when Chris does get to make it up, it is hard to go grab a bite to eat, "the giving tree" delivered us lunch last weekend, one couple took us out to eat, a manager at a resturant took care of our bill when he heard through a mutual friend that our babies were in the NICU...or a home cooked meal was waiting at my parents for us. When the devil appears stronger than we can handle, "the giving tree" calls us and offers us words of encouragement, faith, hope and strength. Our Giving Tree is so much more than we can even fully grasp sometimes. God provides through our Giving Tree, and even though it is not mentioned in the poem, Chris and I are VERY greatful, thankful and truly blessed beyond words.
Parker had an EKG yesterday morning because they thought he had a heart murmur...then the Speech Path came in to work with Peanut because she is having problems with the suck/swallow/breath reflex and her gag reflex is making it a negative experience for her...then the OT/PT came in to work with their necks because they are starting to favor their right side (which I think we all do) but it can cause damage and shortening of their muscles if we don't start working on it now, and then the PT had to work with Parker's feet.....so needless to say yesterday was a long, emotionally busy day. Well, this morning I walked in a little bummed out-thinking that the devil was going to win the battle today....but we have a WONDERFUL nurse today, the doctor on call came by and said (or what I could understand) that "no worry about heart, he be ok." then Speech Path came in and said sister just not ready yet to nipple her feedings and lets just let her mature a little bit more before we try to force her....so thank you God for helping me kick that devil's butt today by giving me great nurses, dr's and staff members of the NICU!
Weights: Parker is now 5lbs 5.2oz and Payge is 4lbs 12.4oz
Parker is still having Brady's-5 last night I think
Payge is still spitting up but it has minimzed and PT and Speech Path think it is related to gag reflux
Thank you God for providing us with a "Giving Tree" and even thought words can't even begin to express our gratitude...if you have been a part of our "Giving Tree" THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU!!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Lean on Me...
"Lean on me, when your not strong...I'll be there to help you carry on...we all need somebody to lean on"
As I prepared to blog today, this song was in my head. Its part of life. Sometimes it is just easier to lean on someone...during the good times and the bad. Often we forget that God is not sitting on a cloud above, that He is sitting right next to us, and too often we try to shoulder everything ourselves and forget to lean on Him in not only our times of despair but also our times of Praise. When God created mankind, He didn't make us flawless...because if we were we would have a lot more patience than we do now and we would have an easier time understanding and grasping that everything, EVERYTHING happens in His time and we just need to throw our timeline of life out the stinking window.....
Having Chris here on the weekends sure makes things alot easier for me. He is my someone to lean on, and life just seems so much easier when he is around. He is strong when I am weak, he is funny when I am stressed, he is patient when I am far from it.... He is my someone to lean on when I forget that God is right next to me. The babies had a pretty good weekend. Parker had a cluster of Brady's so they put him back on air flow to help him remember to take deep breaths and keep his heart rate up. He is nippling a bottle 3x a day and is taking in 14mills each time. Payge is not so interested in taking a bottle...I think she is struggling so much with her reflux that she is just afraid of gagging. She did attemp to take her pacifier several times this weekend so we count that as success. She is not spitting up as much which is huge. Parker is 5lbs 3 oz and sister is 4lbs 10oz!! We cant believe how much they are growing.
Speaking of leaning on someone....mom came up with me today because the Speech Therapist is going to come work with Payge some this morning and talk to us about her suck/swallow/breath reflex and give us ideas on how to help her develop it and not be traumatized by the bottle or sassy. I was so scared to come up by myself this morning because I feared being overwhelmed with information or not remembering or just blanking out...so thankfully I have mom to lean on now.
Saturday we talked our nurse and the charge nurse into letting all the grandparents (my parents and chris') come back at once. Usually we can only have 3-4 people in the room at a time. We wanted the grandparents to get a chance to hold since they hadn't gotten to yet. We debated on how to work this out, trying to be fair(we majorly stress out over trying to be fair even though it should be the least of our concern it somehow falls at the top of our list daily) so we somehow talked the nurse into letting them all come back and hold for 10 mins!! The 10mins flew by but the looks on their faces was totally worth all the stress. Both sets of grandparents were overwhelmed with joy!
Isaiah 40:31 "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
So, thank you God for not sitting above, up on a cloud, but for being right next to me so I can lean on you, when I am not strong....and everyone else who has prayed for us, thought about us, visited us, sent things...thank you for being there for us to lean on, and Chris...thank you for being strong when I am not, for letting me be strong for you when you are not able to, for making life easier by just being around and for helping take care of things I just can't deal with, for being you, and for loving me.....
"We all need, somebody to lean on......"
As I prepared to blog today, this song was in my head. Its part of life. Sometimes it is just easier to lean on someone...during the good times and the bad. Often we forget that God is not sitting on a cloud above, that He is sitting right next to us, and too often we try to shoulder everything ourselves and forget to lean on Him in not only our times of despair but also our times of Praise. When God created mankind, He didn't make us flawless...because if we were we would have a lot more patience than we do now and we would have an easier time understanding and grasping that everything, EVERYTHING happens in His time and we just need to throw our timeline of life out the stinking window.....
Having Chris here on the weekends sure makes things alot easier for me. He is my someone to lean on, and life just seems so much easier when he is around. He is strong when I am weak, he is funny when I am stressed, he is patient when I am far from it.... He is my someone to lean on when I forget that God is right next to me. The babies had a pretty good weekend. Parker had a cluster of Brady's so they put him back on air flow to help him remember to take deep breaths and keep his heart rate up. He is nippling a bottle 3x a day and is taking in 14mills each time. Payge is not so interested in taking a bottle...I think she is struggling so much with her reflux that she is just afraid of gagging. She did attemp to take her pacifier several times this weekend so we count that as success. She is not spitting up as much which is huge. Parker is 5lbs 3 oz and sister is 4lbs 10oz!! We cant believe how much they are growing.
Speaking of leaning on someone....mom came up with me today because the Speech Therapist is going to come work with Payge some this morning and talk to us about her suck/swallow/breath reflex and give us ideas on how to help her develop it and not be traumatized by the bottle or sassy. I was so scared to come up by myself this morning because I feared being overwhelmed with information or not remembering or just blanking out...so thankfully I have mom to lean on now.
Saturday we talked our nurse and the charge nurse into letting all the grandparents (my parents and chris') come back at once. Usually we can only have 3-4 people in the room at a time. We wanted the grandparents to get a chance to hold since they hadn't gotten to yet. We debated on how to work this out, trying to be fair(we majorly stress out over trying to be fair even though it should be the least of our concern it somehow falls at the top of our list daily) so we somehow talked the nurse into letting them all come back and hold for 10 mins!! The 10mins flew by but the looks on their faces was totally worth all the stress. Both sets of grandparents were overwhelmed with joy!
Isaiah 40:31 "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
So, thank you God for not sitting above, up on a cloud, but for being right next to me so I can lean on you, when I am not strong....and everyone else who has prayed for us, thought about us, visited us, sent things...thank you for being there for us to lean on, and Chris...thank you for being strong when I am not, for letting me be strong for you when you are not able to, for making life easier by just being around and for helping take care of things I just can't deal with, for being you, and for loving me.....
"We all need, somebody to lean on......"
Friday, April 15, 2011
Ups and Downs...
Up for the day: The PA came by and said that since the babies are almost 36 weeks we can start trying to bottle feed them!! Depending on how they tolerate them and what their spit up is like will depend on if it is 2x a day or 1x every 3 hours!
Down for the day: (and I am not trying to sound like a bad person)-I over heard the nurses talking about a baby that gets to go home today. Daily I pray for ALL the babies and mommies in the NICU and I am happy for that family...just a little sad for mine.
But All in God's time....
Down for the day: (and I am not trying to sound like a bad person)-I over heard the nurses talking about a baby that gets to go home today. Daily I pray for ALL the babies and mommies in the NICU and I am happy for that family...just a little sad for mine.
But All in God's time....
2 weeks...and oh so much more....
Today my sweet precious babies are 2 weeks old....and we have been in the NICU for 2 weeks now. 2 whole weeks....seems longer than that, but seems like time has flown by. Does that make sense? 3 weeks tomorrow I started going into labor with them and had no clue...now I am the mother, oh how I love the sound of that, to 2 very sweet, very precious, miracle babies.
Let me take you back...
After Chris and I married in August of 2007 we were so excited to start a family. We both love kids very much and couldn't wait to have our own. Originally we wanted 5....let me tell you I think that number has changed now. :) After months of trying, and going through test after test, my dr told me that I had endometriosis and it was bad. So, first surgery...May 2008. Supposedly this surgery made you "fertile" so we tried and tried some more...after 6 months of trying and still not ovulating, the dr put us on our first round of injections. You are supposed to be on the injections for 6 mos...but at my 6 mos check in, we were still not having any luck, so we changed the meds and went for another 6 mos....still no luck.We decided to take a quick break from all this and try to adopt...that is a whole different post...but lets just say it also ended in heartache. After 3 more mos on another med and still no luck, the dr told us..."I think I have done all I can for you...I think you should see a fertility specialist." After researching not only the fertility clinic, but also our hearts and our bank account we began the fertility process in late May of 2010. We had wonderful doctors, nurses and even a "shrink" we had to go see to make sure we were "mentally ok" to go through the process. (since we were able to go thru with the process I guess Chris and I are "mentally ok" lol). We began the injections, tests, and medications in late May early June 2010 and I had the retrieval process done. 17 eggs were taken! We were so excited....but only 6 fertilized and the day we went in for the implantation....we only had 2 good eggs. At that time I was devestated...but God knew what he had planned for me. A few weeks later we found out that we were pregnant...at 8 weeks we heard one heart beat and at 10 weeks we found the next one. I knew right away that we were going to have Parker and Payge...and I could even tell you who was who and where they were laying at. :)
Fast Forward: Saturday, March 26, I was exhausted, and my back kept hurting. I would just lay in floor and then stretch out and pain seemed to go away. Chris was gone. After an ice cream fix with Miranda, I felt a little better. Sunday morning we got up to go to church and I kept telling Chris that I didn't feel well and that I was crampy and sore. We still went to church. After church, several tylenol and at least 3 hot showers, Chris FINALLY called Miranda and she said we should start timing contractions. Well....I didn't really know what a contraction was so when my belly got tight...I told Chris and he wrote it down. We were thinking they were 30-40 mins apart. By Monday, I couldn't take it anymore and had Megan-who has not driven in Tulsa let alone driven a contracting pregnant lady in Tulsa-take me to the Dr. I figured my Pre K days were over. At the dr.'s office I was bleeding, already dialated and so she sent me to labor and delivery. My contractions were 1-3 minutes a part!!! I was admitted Monday afternoon, pumped full of Magnesium and steriods for the babies lungs and hooked up to a hundred different monitors. Up and down the next few days, by Thurs I felt great. Got to get up and take a shower, put on my own PJ's...big mistake. Early Friday morning I woke up and could hardly breath. My pulse/ox was super low and my blood pressure was high. The nurse called my dr who said I needed to be rushed in for a CT to make sure there was not a blood clot. Luckily there was no blood clot, BUT I was basically drowning from all the fluids that had been pumped into me, so no more pain meds, or fluids for me. By noon the contractions were back and they were intense. By 2pm I was dialated to a 3, bleeding and having contractions every 2-3 mins. By 3pm the nurse said "ok...you say Uncle and we will call your dr." by 3:15 I said "uncle" because the contractions were 1-3 mins apart and lasting 60-70 seconds each. By 4:23 and 4:24 my precious nuggets were here....
Little did I know that having babies at 33.2 weeks meant time in the NICU...and little did I know what exactly the NICU consisted of. Like I have posted previously...this is not in the what to expect books...but God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Chris and I have grown closer, and we are truly blessed to have such a strong support system of family, friends and co workers. The other day I made the comment "It is easier to be stronger on the outside than on the inside..." and one of my dear friends said "well...we have Jesus on the inside so we don't have to be strong.." and she is very true.
It is hard to have babies in the NICU and then completely turn it all over to God to take care of your children...but I think that is part of Parenthood. We have to trust in God and have hope and faith that He will provide us with the strength that we need to make it minute by minute...day by day...
So, today we celebrate the Nuggets 2 week birthday, just like we celebrated their 1st week...and probably more to come....but as I write this I feel God at work and I know He is at work in my babies, in the Nurses and dr.s and in Chris and I...because without God, NOTHING IS POSSIBLE!
Happy 2 weeks Babies...Mommy and Daddy love you!!
Let me take you back...
After Chris and I married in August of 2007 we were so excited to start a family. We both love kids very much and couldn't wait to have our own. Originally we wanted 5....let me tell you I think that number has changed now. :) After months of trying, and going through test after test, my dr told me that I had endometriosis and it was bad. So, first surgery...May 2008. Supposedly this surgery made you "fertile" so we tried and tried some more...after 6 months of trying and still not ovulating, the dr put us on our first round of injections. You are supposed to be on the injections for 6 mos...but at my 6 mos check in, we were still not having any luck, so we changed the meds and went for another 6 mos....still no luck.We decided to take a quick break from all this and try to adopt...that is a whole different post...but lets just say it also ended in heartache. After 3 more mos on another med and still no luck, the dr told us..."I think I have done all I can for you...I think you should see a fertility specialist." After researching not only the fertility clinic, but also our hearts and our bank account we began the fertility process in late May of 2010. We had wonderful doctors, nurses and even a "shrink" we had to go see to make sure we were "mentally ok" to go through the process. (since we were able to go thru with the process I guess Chris and I are "mentally ok" lol). We began the injections, tests, and medications in late May early June 2010 and I had the retrieval process done. 17 eggs were taken! We were so excited....but only 6 fertilized and the day we went in for the implantation....we only had 2 good eggs. At that time I was devestated...but God knew what he had planned for me. A few weeks later we found out that we were pregnant...at 8 weeks we heard one heart beat and at 10 weeks we found the next one. I knew right away that we were going to have Parker and Payge...and I could even tell you who was who and where they were laying at. :)
Fast Forward: Saturday, March 26, I was exhausted, and my back kept hurting. I would just lay in floor and then stretch out and pain seemed to go away. Chris was gone. After an ice cream fix with Miranda, I felt a little better. Sunday morning we got up to go to church and I kept telling Chris that I didn't feel well and that I was crampy and sore. We still went to church. After church, several tylenol and at least 3 hot showers, Chris FINALLY called Miranda and she said we should start timing contractions. Well....I didn't really know what a contraction was so when my belly got tight...I told Chris and he wrote it down. We were thinking they were 30-40 mins apart. By Monday, I couldn't take it anymore and had Megan-who has not driven in Tulsa let alone driven a contracting pregnant lady in Tulsa-take me to the Dr. I figured my Pre K days were over. At the dr.'s office I was bleeding, already dialated and so she sent me to labor and delivery. My contractions were 1-3 minutes a part!!! I was admitted Monday afternoon, pumped full of Magnesium and steriods for the babies lungs and hooked up to a hundred different monitors. Up and down the next few days, by Thurs I felt great. Got to get up and take a shower, put on my own PJ's...big mistake. Early Friday morning I woke up and could hardly breath. My pulse/ox was super low and my blood pressure was high. The nurse called my dr who said I needed to be rushed in for a CT to make sure there was not a blood clot. Luckily there was no blood clot, BUT I was basically drowning from all the fluids that had been pumped into me, so no more pain meds, or fluids for me. By noon the contractions were back and they were intense. By 2pm I was dialated to a 3, bleeding and having contractions every 2-3 mins. By 3pm the nurse said "ok...you say Uncle and we will call your dr." by 3:15 I said "uncle" because the contractions were 1-3 mins apart and lasting 60-70 seconds each. By 4:23 and 4:24 my precious nuggets were here....
Little did I know that having babies at 33.2 weeks meant time in the NICU...and little did I know what exactly the NICU consisted of. Like I have posted previously...this is not in the what to expect books...but God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Chris and I have grown closer, and we are truly blessed to have such a strong support system of family, friends and co workers. The other day I made the comment "It is easier to be stronger on the outside than on the inside..." and one of my dear friends said "well...we have Jesus on the inside so we don't have to be strong.." and she is very true.
It is hard to have babies in the NICU and then completely turn it all over to God to take care of your children...but I think that is part of Parenthood. We have to trust in God and have hope and faith that He will provide us with the strength that we need to make it minute by minute...day by day...
So, today we celebrate the Nuggets 2 week birthday, just like we celebrated their 1st week...and probably more to come....but as I write this I feel God at work and I know He is at work in my babies, in the Nurses and dr.s and in Chris and I...because without God, NOTHING IS POSSIBLE!
Happy 2 weeks Babies...Mommy and Daddy love you!!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Milestones....
What is a milestone with a baby....or babies? What is a NICU milestone?
Well...early this morning the babies were moved to open cribs...is that your typical milestone? Maybe not for you...but for this Henderson clan...IT IS!!! No more stinky, enclosed, dark, covered isolettes for my sweet babies. We have upgraded to plastic bins on wooden boxes with wheels! HECK YEAH!! Another milestone...Parker only had 1...yes just 1 brady last night!! That is huge since the previous night he had 5!! Limited to no spit up for my little Prince...mark that down as another milestone! For my Peanut...they had to change her formula because her little tummy just couldn't digest it all so they put her on something that is partially digested--gross yes tell me about it--but since then her spit up has not been as often or as much. Dr. still hasn't come by yet to explain that to me....but I am interested in hearing how my daughter is being fed partially digested formula...I will let ya know how that goes.
Chris got to come up yesterday for a couple of hours. It was so nice seeing him and watching him with the babies. Not only is he an amazing man, awesome dad and my best friend...he is a WONDERFUL daddy. The light and look on his face when he holds his children is breath taking! I appreciate everyone who allowed us to spend time together yesterday while he was here. I love having visitors and people coming to check on us...because this NICU hole is starting to wear on me....but spending just a few hours in the middle of the week with Chris is the best thing in the world and helps me make it through the rest of the week. Him leaving is hard...probably harder on him because he feels like he is missing out. Poor guy...please keep him in your thoughts and prayers...that God will heal the distance with love and strength until he gets to be with us all again.
Well...almost 2 weeks down and we are still hanging in there. God is good...all the time. And no, we don't understand why the babies came early, and we never will. But in God's plan, it all happens for a reason. The babies are doing well. Again, NICU is a roller coaster with all the ups and downs...and truthfully its just not a fun place to be...BUT God has blessed us with great Dr.'s and nurses who will provide my babies with the best that they can.
Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers....keep 'em coming!
Well...early this morning the babies were moved to open cribs...is that your typical milestone? Maybe not for you...but for this Henderson clan...IT IS!!! No more stinky, enclosed, dark, covered isolettes for my sweet babies. We have upgraded to plastic bins on wooden boxes with wheels! HECK YEAH!! Another milestone...Parker only had 1...yes just 1 brady last night!! That is huge since the previous night he had 5!! Limited to no spit up for my little Prince...mark that down as another milestone! For my Peanut...they had to change her formula because her little tummy just couldn't digest it all so they put her on something that is partially digested--gross yes tell me about it--but since then her spit up has not been as often or as much. Dr. still hasn't come by yet to explain that to me....but I am interested in hearing how my daughter is being fed partially digested formula...I will let ya know how that goes.
Chris got to come up yesterday for a couple of hours. It was so nice seeing him and watching him with the babies. Not only is he an amazing man, awesome dad and my best friend...he is a WONDERFUL daddy. The light and look on his face when he holds his children is breath taking! I appreciate everyone who allowed us to spend time together yesterday while he was here. I love having visitors and people coming to check on us...because this NICU hole is starting to wear on me....but spending just a few hours in the middle of the week with Chris is the best thing in the world and helps me make it through the rest of the week. Him leaving is hard...probably harder on him because he feels like he is missing out. Poor guy...please keep him in your thoughts and prayers...that God will heal the distance with love and strength until he gets to be with us all again.
Well...almost 2 weeks down and we are still hanging in there. God is good...all the time. And no, we don't understand why the babies came early, and we never will. But in God's plan, it all happens for a reason. The babies are doing well. Again, NICU is a roller coaster with all the ups and downs...and truthfully its just not a fun place to be...BUT God has blessed us with great Dr.'s and nurses who will provide my babies with the best that they can.
Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers....keep 'em coming!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Should I stay or should I go???
These are the questions I ask my self EVERY DAY! How long should I stay at the NICU? Is it bad I want to go to my parents to shower, eat a home cooked meal and sleep in a bed? Since my babies are in isolettes will they bond with me? Will they know that I leave after 8-10 and even some 12 hr days? Are we bonding the way a momma and her babies should? When will they tolerate their feeds better without spitting up? And the list goes on, and on, and on....
I did meet one of the other mothers up here yesterday. It was nice to be able to discuss some stuff that our babies are going through. We talked about the time spent up here and both shared that we were some of the only mothers up here. There are 30 plus rooms in the NICU and 5...yes 5 sets of twins and she and one other mother are the only ones I see up here. It is insane. I even heard that a few years ago a couple of quads in the NICU went on a cruise while their babies were in here! I am going to have to run to Fairfax sometime next week and I am fretting over if that is too far to be away from the babies...I can't even imagine going on a cruise out of the STINKING country!! Really?!?
So, I have people telling me I need to be here 24/7 but I have nurses telling me to go home and get some rest....
This is not in your typical "What to expect while you are expecting" or "What to expect the first year" book. There is no right or wrong...or that is how I feel...about the NICU. I have a wonderful support team of nurses, PT, OT, social worker, charge nurses and doctors here. But it is nice to get away sometimes....because I KNOW that my babies are ok and being taken care of. I KNOW that we will make it out of here. Yes, it is hard "saying goodnight" to them and telling them "see ya in the morning baby" but we are able to call 24/7...and we do. Chris calls after their 8pm assesment and checks their weight and how they are doing, and then he calls me to report to me...since he probably gets tired of me reporting to him all day, and then I call if I wake up in the middle of the night, and then again when I get up in the morning...usually around 5:30-6am to see how their night was and to mentally prepare me for the day.
So, should I stay or should I go? Well no one can answer that question for me. I just pray daily that God will be with my babies, while I am here or not, with the nurses dealing with my babies and with the Dr.'s. That is all I can do, because there is no "what to expects" in the NICU. It is ALL in God's hands. My babies are doing great. They are not on vents, or oxygen, or have any problems besides for spit ups...
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers...keep them coming because I know I need them, as well as Chris and the babies...Hopefully we are down to 3-4 more weeks!!
I did meet one of the other mothers up here yesterday. It was nice to be able to discuss some stuff that our babies are going through. We talked about the time spent up here and both shared that we were some of the only mothers up here. There are 30 plus rooms in the NICU and 5...yes 5 sets of twins and she and one other mother are the only ones I see up here. It is insane. I even heard that a few years ago a couple of quads in the NICU went on a cruise while their babies were in here! I am going to have to run to Fairfax sometime next week and I am fretting over if that is too far to be away from the babies...I can't even imagine going on a cruise out of the STINKING country!! Really?!?
So, I have people telling me I need to be here 24/7 but I have nurses telling me to go home and get some rest....
This is not in your typical "What to expect while you are expecting" or "What to expect the first year" book. There is no right or wrong...or that is how I feel...about the NICU. I have a wonderful support team of nurses, PT, OT, social worker, charge nurses and doctors here. But it is nice to get away sometimes....because I KNOW that my babies are ok and being taken care of. I KNOW that we will make it out of here. Yes, it is hard "saying goodnight" to them and telling them "see ya in the morning baby" but we are able to call 24/7...and we do. Chris calls after their 8pm assesment and checks their weight and how they are doing, and then he calls me to report to me...since he probably gets tired of me reporting to him all day, and then I call if I wake up in the middle of the night, and then again when I get up in the morning...usually around 5:30-6am to see how their night was and to mentally prepare me for the day.
So, should I stay or should I go? Well no one can answer that question for me. I just pray daily that God will be with my babies, while I am here or not, with the nurses dealing with my babies and with the Dr.'s. That is all I can do, because there is no "what to expects" in the NICU. It is ALL in God's hands. My babies are doing great. They are not on vents, or oxygen, or have any problems besides for spit ups...
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers...keep them coming because I know I need them, as well as Chris and the babies...Hopefully we are down to 3-4 more weeks!!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
God is Good!
Today my neice, Miss Brooklynne made her debut so I was running a little behind to come see the babies. Dr. still came by and told me they are doing good and feedings/spit up episodes are a lot better. The PT came to work with Parker and he has made so much progress with his left foot that they had to make a new brace!! I have his first one to save and put in his baby box! They had to redo his feeding tube this morning because it was still not lying in the right place...but after 2 xrays we finally got the tube in the right place!!! Since then, no spit ups for Sir Parker and Miss Payge had a small one but she was sneezing first and it was more snot than spit up. Today is a good day. I had two very wonderful friends come up and visit and take me to lunch. It felt great to be outside while the sun was shining and enjoy a good laugh or two! I am so very blessed. I have a wonderful husband, 2 very precious babies, an amazing family and awesome friends. Thank you God.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Day 11-NICU
Well, the Precious Nuggets have been in th NICU for 11 days now. Here is an update on them:
they are both still on feeding tubes. They have had a lot of problems digesting all of their feedings and not spitting up. So, the Dr. has put them on continual feeds-they eat 10mills an hour, and hopefully this will help them gain and tolerate better. Parker is currently at 4lbs 12oz-which isn't far from his birth weight: 4lbs 14.2oz and Lil Miss Payge is 4lbs and 5oz-which is 4oz over her birth weight. The tubes currently bypass their stomachs and lie in their small intestine...so if they do spit up, it is not as much and can lie in their tummies. Parker has limited his number of Brady's and no longer is on Oxygen-those were two of our short term goals. Payge is off of her IV and up to almost a full ounce on her feedings. They both actually did take a bottle the other night!! First time for Sir Parker!! Chris is still having to be at work, but thinks that he may get to come in on Wednesday nights now...and hopefully the weekends when it doesn't conflict with baseball. Thank you so much for all the thoughts and prayers!! We greatly appreciate them!!
they are both still on feeding tubes. They have had a lot of problems digesting all of their feedings and not spitting up. So, the Dr. has put them on continual feeds-they eat 10mills an hour, and hopefully this will help them gain and tolerate better. Parker is currently at 4lbs 12oz-which isn't far from his birth weight: 4lbs 14.2oz and Lil Miss Payge is 4lbs and 5oz-which is 4oz over her birth weight. The tubes currently bypass their stomachs and lie in their small intestine...so if they do spit up, it is not as much and can lie in their tummies. Parker has limited his number of Brady's and no longer is on Oxygen-those were two of our short term goals. Payge is off of her IV and up to almost a full ounce on her feedings. They both actually did take a bottle the other night!! First time for Sir Parker!! Chris is still having to be at work, but thinks that he may get to come in on Wednesday nights now...and hopefully the weekends when it doesn't conflict with baseball. Thank you so much for all the thoughts and prayers!! We greatly appreciate them!!
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