Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Uh Oh, Oh No, No No!

Uh Oh...Payge stole Parker's paci
Oh No....Parker broke another glass dish
NO NO Parker do not bite your DeDe!

Too often I find myself saying one of these phrases, and the list goes on and on!

Uh Oh....we are on our last diaper
Oh No....Parker took his diaper off during nap time
NO NO Payge please do not push your brother!!!

Life with two 14 month olds is often at times humerous, and other times nerve racking, but luckily we can laugh through the broken dishes. So far, Parker has broken a hurrican candle holder in Mom's entry way and a pyrex glass at my Aunt's kitchen. Payge usually screams anytime someone puts on their shoes and she doesn't have her's on, Parker's new favorite thing to do is take off his diaper (especially during nap time), and today at lunch, he even slung his mashed potatoes on a waitress walking by!

Uh Oh...Payge pee'd on Pop on the airplane
Oh No...we are sitting to "Susie Sunshine" who seems to hate children
NO NO....Parker you can not run through the airport on your own!!

It has been trying, and even hard at times...but thankfully I am blessed with an amazing support system. We have a Dede who is the best helping hand around, a Pop who is good for laughs and outside play, an uncle who will sacrafice his day off to go to a "splash pad".....

My kiddos may not have the "boutique" baby items, they may wear Target clothes and shoes and sometimes, towards the end of the pay period...we even wear the off brand diapers....but P2 is loved. They are loved by family, friends, the wait staff at Hugos and elderly couples eating breakfast at McDonalds. We have our FAIR share of "Uh Ohs, Oh No's and NO NO's" but we also have our fair share of fun, laughs and memories.

Uh Oh...Parker just found the TV remote
Oh No....Payge saw me put on my sneakers
NO NO....DO NOT THROW YOUR FOOD AT EACH OTHER!!

Ahh the joys of Motherhood!

Friday, June 1, 2012

The Way...

"Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me." John 14:6

Too often we forget to allow others, or even God, to show us the way, when it comes to many aspects in life. Too often we fail to reach out to others during our struggles, and too often we forget that we have to learn "the way" that works best for us.

Parenthood is a matter that has many "ways."
Breastfeed vs Bottles
Clother diapers vs Disposable
Stroller vs carry sling
Pacifer vs no pacifier
Crib sleeper vs co sleeping
The list goes on and on....
No wonder being a "first timer" is often so hard.

Chris and I are lucky though, actually we are blessed. We got a test drive at parenthood before we had the twins. We had someone show us "the way."

It started with a phone call and a quick meeting at McDonalds, and it ended with broken hearts, tearful eyes and a cry out for help. It was a "trial run" at parenthood, and I truly believed we passed. For 7 weeks we learned how to take slower steps, love more tenderly, treasure each moment. Not only did this precious 14 month old show us the way, he opened up our hearts, taught us lesssons and gave us memories for the years to come. Thank you sweet "Thunder" for showing Dada and I the way, for teaching us to soak up each and every minute we have, and for making our hearts bigger.

As the babies turn 14 mos today, (the same age as our "Thunder" when we got him), I can't help but to  remember the things he enjoyed, what made him laugh or his favorite meals....and even though I want to fight back tears, I remember that just like Jesus, "Thunder" showed us the way. He showed us that we could do it...we could put our selfishness aside and become "parents" one day.

So, at 14 mos, as the babies drink from their QT cups, splash in the tub at bathtime with their Daddy and break out in dance at any given moment, my heart fills up with joy and I know that we were shown the way to love, forgive, cherish and smile by a little boy who came and went way to quickly.

Happy 14 months sweet babies! Mommy loves you P2!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Everything YOU Do

Almost every day, Mom, P2 and I have a routine of walking or biking at Claremore Lake. Sometimes the "boys" join us, and fish while we stroll along. After a very stressful day at work a few weeks back, I told mom that I felt like "I had the short end of the stick" because Chris was getting "him time" and getting to fish without the babies. I hit a chord with mom and she reminded me that I had prayed, wished and hoped for these babies...and boy was she right.

Too many times, I get stressed or overwhelmed, but as I was rushing around getting ready for Church this morning, a song came across my Pandora list by Steven Curtis Chapman called "Do Everything."

"Your picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today,
Matching up socks,
Sweeping up lost cheerios that got away.
You put a baby on your hip,
Color on your lips, and head out the door...
While I may not know you,
I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes, does it matter at all??
Well let  me remind you, it all matters just as long
as you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you...."

Wow. Shut the door.

As we often do, Mom and I got into an indepth conversation about life, parenthood, the future, the past, our journey, etc... yesterday morning, and she said "I prayed for you to be a mom, because I know how badly you wanted to be one. I was scared that you would never get that opportunity."
Isn't it funny how MOM's always know the things to say or do that pull you out of your slump??
I had been sulking because Chris was away on a "man trip" fishing and after mom spoke those words to me, I remember that I had prayed, for years, for God to allow me to be a mom. God blessed me. He made me a Mom of Multiples and sometimes I forget to Thank Him.

So now, as I sweep the floor after breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner, and fold the 3rd load of laundry for the day, I will replay the words of Steven Curtis Chapman and TRY (we are only human :)) to do everything with a smile on my face.....because in the end, it does matter :)

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mother's Day

There is a sign hanging in my parent's living room that reads, " My greatest blessings call me Mom." For the first 25+ years of my life, there is no way that the sign made sense or even crossed my mind, but after the first year...it speaks straight to my heart. Too often, in the midst of sleepless nights, dirty diapers and interupted meals, we forget that God blessed us, and made us MOMS.

Unfortunately, I know for a fact that I wasn't always a blessing to my mom, and I pray that God does not make me pay for my raising with Payge, because I'm not quite sure I could handle it or forgive as easily as my own precious mother did. But even though I was an unruly, rude and obnoxious teenager, my mom still loved, still guided, and still prayed for me. Now, as we enjoy our walks at the lake and QT Sweet lemon teas, I can't imagine what life would be like if she hadn't forgiven me, hadn't loved me and hadn't had faith that one day, I would be her sweet "blessing" again.

After reading a recent book by Karen Kingsbury, it hit me that too often we over look the simple pleasures, blessings, in life, and find a way to focus in on the bad. Life is not peaches and apple pie, sometimes it is sour grapes and spilled milk...but in every long, tireless night, stressful days and endless doctors appointments, to each is own a blessing.

Monday we visited OU Children's in OKC to do a check up with Parker's prosetic dr and his Ortho surgeon...(these trips are tiring, stressful and very demanding) after a quick snack in the lobby, we headed to appointment number 1, and of course the dr was running late....as we sat in the waiting room, a man missing a limb came in and keep a constant eye on my two, healthy babies, running around the waiting room. Appointment went great. Blessing. We made our way upstairs for appointment number 2, where we learned the Dr was running 30-45 minutes behind. Disastorious with 2 unruly "toddlers" contained to a packed waiting room. We were carrying around Parker's DOBBS braces when another mother asked if he had club foot. My mom visited with her and learned that her son had been diagnosed in the womb with Club Foot, and had just completed one of his several surgeries. Her son removed his shoes and showed us his scars, and his feet. He was 9. Humbled.

Blessings flow from above.And even though my babies prefer their Uncle DJ and Pop over me 82% of the time...they are my greatest blessings. I know the road ahead will be a curvy, bumpy one....but as I smile thru the tears, I know that God will help me survive, just like he helped my mom survive those 10 "wild" years of mine.


" My greatest blessings call me MOM"

Sunday, April 1, 2012

1 year....

1 year...
12 months....
52 weeks....
365 days...
8765.8 hours....
525948.7 minutes....
31556926 seconds.....

What a whirlwind of a year it has been. It started on March 27, 2011 with me having someone drive me to the Dr. thinking I had the flu....5 days later, my sweet babies entered this world, 7 weeks early, at 4:23 and 4:24 pm weighing 4.14lbs and 4.1lbs.

The seconds that happened afterwards are a foggy blur to me...I do recall that one of the Dr.'s in the room was Dr. Butcher and I immediately asked for his first name....I remember Chris mentioning Parkers feet to me, but I didn't fully understand. I remember the Dr saying that it was 2 boys at first and I said, "What?!? It's supposed to be one of each!" and he laughed and said Baby B (Payge) was a little girl.
What I recall and what Chris recalls are completely different. I don't remember much after the babies were born, and Chris on the other hand got to cut their chords. Parkers cutting was rushed since he quit breathing on his own and had to be inubated.

Minutes later I remember meeting the Neonatilist (Dr. Miranda) who said that they were going to have to take the babies to NICU and I pushed Chris away and told him to go with them since I couldn't......


A few hours later I recall the nurse asking if I wanted visitors and I said that I didn't, but my mom and Miranda snuck back anyways....lol. I can still remember the shirt that Miranda had on and that she told everyone in the waiting room she was going to the bathroom. Man, I love my TT.

Almost a full day later, I got to see my sweet babies for the very first time. Since I had been on Oxygen due to a very low pulse/ox and had problems keeping my blood pressure down, I had not been able to see them yet. As Chris pushed me down the hall, I became full of so many emotions...joy, anxiety, nervousness and anticipation...I was about to meet my sweet babies for the very first time.

4 days later, my mom and I pulled away from the Hospital empty handed. There were no car seats or babies going home with me, and I struggled trying to realize it wasn't my fault. I cried, screamed and asked why all the way to my brother and sister in laws house where I would stay, since it was closer to the hospital. That night, I curled up and cried myself to sleep.

5 weeks later, my sweet Peanut decided to pull out her feeding tube and nipple all of her feeds, as well as pass her carseat test and sleep study test. She was ready to go home.

2 months after we had been in the hospital, Parker gave the carseat test a third go around and rocked it ! He was finally slowing down with his Brady's and increasing his feeds. He FINALLY was ready to leave, and we were going HOME as a FAMILY!

4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines Day....
Surgeries, Ear infections, Illnesses....

A year.
365 days full of excitement, joy, tears, anxiety, stress, and pure happiness.
There have been times we didn't think we were going to make it financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically or remain sane. But we survived the Wild Ride of the 1st year with twins.

As we prepared for their Birthday Celebration, I fought back tears...my sweet miracle babies were growing up and it happend so fast. It didn't seem like 8760 hours...it seemed like 2 minutes.
Where did the time go and how did it happen so fast?

Parker got his first hair cut Friday night and within seconds he was transformed from a baby to a handsome little man. Payge is walking every which way and talking all the time (must take after her daddy LOL!!)

As the babies carried in palms today for Palm Sunday, emotions flooded me, and I felt God tug at my heart strings, without Him, my family and my awesome friends, I never would have survived these first 365 days or the many years leading up to us having a family. So sweet babies, you are more than blessings, you are miracles, lifesavers and my world.

Happy first 365 days! Here are many more seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years to come! I love you!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Molehills, Mountains, Milestones and Memories....ahhh

As I stayed home from work today with my two RSV babies, I began working on their 1st year Video. After organizing 1.6 billion photos, a strong emotion came over me and make me hit my kness praying. Thank you GOD...thank you for the molehills, the mountains, the milestones and the oh so many memories, and all after just 1 year.

Molehills:
Ear infections, strept throat, RSV, Moving, NICU for 3 weeks and PICU for 4 weeks, skull fractures, job changes, heel chord surgery, tubes placed in Payge's ears.....

Mountains: making not one, but 2 trips to Florida after losing "Santa," overcoming financial stress, allowing God to provide and take care of us during injuries, surgeries and illnesses, learning not to make "molehills into mountains"

Milestones: Parker finally passing a PT test!!, transitioning from braces, to casts to surgery to Dobbs braces and now only wearing them at night! Dad winning game #500 before resigning as the Lady Longhorn's Coach, Payge finally saying "mama," Uncle DJ FINALLY graduating college :)! From sitting up, to holding their own bottle, to signing, to eating solids, waving, talking, laughing, crusing, Payge taking her first steps....

Memories: Swimming at Fairfax Nanas house, photo shoots with Aunt Megan, shopping dates and the circus with TT, meeting and going to She-She's house for the very first time, Payge waving, Parker getting an IV for being dehydrated, going to Disney for Christmas, their screaming and terrified faces when they met Santa for the first time, sorting out their clothes as they seem to keep outgrowing everything, Pop's All State Game this summer, riding Cooper at Uncle Gary's house, Papa Smith humming and rocking Parker to sleep, picking out outfits for each holiday......

The lists for all of these just go on and on....
This first year has been full of ups and downs, bumps and bruises, tears and smiles, but it has been the most important year of my life. Yes I have been insanely busy, crazy stressed out and at times a tad bit overwhelmed....but as I compiled a video of just a mere 250 pictures....I can't help but smile, tear up a bit and close my eyes and whisper "Thank you God! Thank you for the molehills to help us face the mountains, for the bruises to make us stronger and for the memories and milestones that keep us going on..."

Sigh....I can't believe it has almost been a year.
A year since ....
I went in thinking I had the flu....
I spent a week in labor and wacked out on drugs trying to keep these babies from coming early
We spent many hours at ST JOHNS, worrying, stressing and praying for these babies....

Molehills will become what you make them.
Mountains can be moved.
Milestones will be reached.
Memories are made.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Flying Time...

Where oh where does the time fly??!?
I have not been able to blog in several weeks...and I will tell you why.
My sweet little Payge experienced ear infection #5 and failed her hearing test, so we were referred to an ENT and had tubes put in last Friday. She had a rocky few days, but now is feeling much better. I can't believe the world of difference that it has already made.
Another time period has flown by quickly here at Hickory Hills....basketball season. This season is more important to us than many holidays and often birthdays. Dad's team was beat out last week and DJ's team is still battling thru the losers bracket into Area. This season has been great for the babies. Dad experienced win #500 on Valentine's Day this year and we were all there to experience it! What a huge milestone for an amazing man! Even though DJ's games occur after P2's bedtime, we have made it to a few games to support their silly uncle. Noting that the State Tournament is just a little over a week away, this season sure has flown by.
The babies are "cruising" and attempting to walk on their own. Payge took 3 steps last night before freaking out and falling down! Parker loves to hold your hand and walk around the living room. He recently had a check up at OU Medical with his surgeon, and got new braces. They were also concerned with a sitting position he does, so we went back to Summit Therapy, where he passed with flying colors.
This past weekend, I had a breakdown in Walgreen's while I was doing their First Birthday Invitations. I can't believe that in 5 weeks, my sweet babies will be 1 year old!
Where has the time gone??
Why do the good times seem to fly by??
It seems like only yesterday that I was looking out the back window, leaving the hospital, without my sweet babies. It seems like only last week that we finally made it HOME as a family. It seems like just the other day that we did the "right thing" for our family and moved back here. I know for a fact that it was just yesterday that they could hold their own bottle.....and now they are almost 1??!!?
I can't believe that it has been almost a year since I went in to labor, just 8 weeks early, and Miranda could have sworn I was having Braxton Hicks and insisted on taking me to Red Devil for Ice Cream! There is no way that we have already celebrated their First Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Holy Cow! How did we already survive two trips to Florida, 2 surgeries, a skull fracture and several colds, coughs and ear infections???
Where did the time go?
Time flies.
Take each and every moment for what its worth and do not waste one second. Nothing is guarenteed or granted to you. God did not make any promises about time to you. Enjoy it. Live it. Love it.

Thank you God for making each and every minute of this past year, and the journey beforehand "enjoyable." Thank you family and friends for holding our hands, helping our hearts and hearing our prayers!
Time flies.....soak every minute of it up. Hang on for the ride. Take a deep breath.