Where has the time gone? Since April 1, time has flown by. We have celebrated Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Halloween and now P2 first Thanksgiving. Our family doesn't have much of a Thankgiving Tradition. The past 2 years, Chris' has been at football practice helping prepare a team for the Play-Offs. Half of our family is 1300 miles away and they celebrate at my Aunt's house in Orlando, so we have usually been divided on Thanksgiving, with some going one way while other's head a different direction. I am thankful, however, that my mom has always been flexable and understanding and prepared a Thanksgiving meal on a day which works best for everyone. She never complains about having to fix the turkey by herself ( I have NO desire to learn or help prepare a turkey, not in my blood I suppose) but she does like it when we help with the pies and tarts.
This year, God has taught us to be thankful for so much, even the little things. For years we tried to have children, and then we were blessed with 2 babies, who were born prematurely. But we were thankful. We were thankful because even though we spent weeks in the NICU and PICU, we met wonderful nurses, had an amazing support system and our babies were healthy, so much stronger than others. Thankful. When we took the leap of Faith and moved back "home" without us both having jobs, we were scared, worried. But as we waited patiently, God provided for us. We went months without a paycheck, but thankfully we now have 2, full time, certified jobs. Grateful. We were concerned with leaving our wonderful friends behind, and even though no one can ever replace them, we have learned to reach out of our comfort zone and meet several new people. Blessed. Worried about not having someone to leave P2 with during the days mom had to work was a major hardship for us. I do not like leaving them. I worry, stress, overanalyze. But God had His hand in our lives and showed us the way to an amazing sitter who knows my fears. Wowed.
Be Thankful.
God works even in the smallest of ways.
Be Thankful that you:
-Have family who loves you
-have a HOME
-have babies who want to snuggle
- have a car that gets you from point A to point B
-have a mom (or aunt) prepares the Turkey for your feast
-have a husband who has had the opportunity to coach and be involved in successful programs
Be thankful for your "Haves" and don't worry about your "have not's
Be Thankful. Count your blessings.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Falling Down....
Growing up, I was possibly the most uncordinated, clumsiest, ungraceful "athlete" you could come across. I could shoot a jumpshot, invented the "Ott Flop" and go 98% from the freethrow but I would be the one that fell in the lunch line, tripped over the imaginary line or fell out of my seat. Being coordinated (with the exception of hand/eye coordination at the plate) was not something I was blessed with. I often got bruises or skinned up knees for falling down.
Recently, I have been doing alot of falling. Falling as a person, struggling in a new workplace, failing as a wife and friend.....but gone are the skinned up knees and bruises. Hello crushed heart and devestated ego. Welcome to a life of uncertianty, uncoordination. Being new to a workplace in the middle of the year is a huge transition. Going from a fit, athletic body to a "I JUST had twins" body is confidence breaking. Transitioning from a Head coach to just being a 2nd grade teacher is ego altering.
It seems like my dreams have been falling apart and I am left with a tired, broken heart, mind and spirit. But then I remember I am not alone. I have someone who loves me, even with my mom jeans and teacher voice. I often forget that God made me a promise, a promise that He would always be with me. That even when I fall, time and time again, God is there, patiently waiting to help me off the ground and shake the dirt off.
Too often, it seems as if we have to fall "one too many times" before we remember to look up. To look up for the hope that we need, or for the peace we need to refill us and help us realize that we can do it and with each and every fall we become a little stronger....or in my case, more stubborn.
I know I will continue to stumble and fall, but deep down inside I know that what doesn't break me, only makes me stronger. I will not let the falls get me down. I will not let the falls break my spirit. I will not let the falls tire me or allow me to grow weary. Next time I fall, instead of looking around to see what caused it, I will look up and see God patiently sticking His hand out to me once again.....
Recently, I have been doing alot of falling. Falling as a person, struggling in a new workplace, failing as a wife and friend.....but gone are the skinned up knees and bruises. Hello crushed heart and devestated ego. Welcome to a life of uncertianty, uncoordination. Being new to a workplace in the middle of the year is a huge transition. Going from a fit, athletic body to a "I JUST had twins" body is confidence breaking. Transitioning from a Head coach to just being a 2nd grade teacher is ego altering.
It seems like my dreams have been falling apart and I am left with a tired, broken heart, mind and spirit. But then I remember I am not alone. I have someone who loves me, even with my mom jeans and teacher voice. I often forget that God made me a promise, a promise that He would always be with me. That even when I fall, time and time again, God is there, patiently waiting to help me off the ground and shake the dirt off.
Too often, it seems as if we have to fall "one too many times" before we remember to look up. To look up for the hope that we need, or for the peace we need to refill us and help us realize that we can do it and with each and every fall we become a little stronger....or in my case, more stubborn.
I know I will continue to stumble and fall, but deep down inside I know that what doesn't break me, only makes me stronger. I will not let the falls get me down. I will not let the falls break my spirit. I will not let the falls tire me or allow me to grow weary. Next time I fall, instead of looking around to see what caused it, I will look up and see God patiently sticking His hand out to me once again.....
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Sir Parker Son
Dear Sweet Parker:
You love to snuggle and rock with your Pop. Your smile and laugh light up my heart and world. I cry every night we put on your Dobbs braces but I smile because I have seen such progress. Your teething process equals sleepless nights for us all, but I enjoy the moments we get to cuddle or when you reach up for me. The day you were born, you didn't breath on your own, and when the doctor told me about your feet, I felt like I had done something wrong. I cried for you, I hurt for you....you are my sweet little boy. My sweet 4lb little boy who now wears high water pants because in order for them to fit you in your tiny waist, they reach your shins. The day we first got you casted, I cried. I ached for you. But you are strong. You are so strong they had to put a stage 3 plaster on your cast because you would kick and kick. I hated holding you down. I hated finding out you had to have surgery. I prayed and prayed and prayed. Prayed that you would be ok. I prayed that I would be ok. God knew.God knew we would make it through Sir. God has been with us every step of the way. Through endless carseat tests, to cardiologist appointments, surgery, and now on to PT appointments, God has been with us every step of the way. God is in my heart sweet boy and I can only pray that I can one day instill Him in yours. You are now endlessly trying to catch up with your sister but you are more content to play in your bouncer or sit up by yourself and play with your rattle or football. You don't like to sleep in your crib unless you have your seahorse and "tig tig". But you are my sweet boy. Its ironic how much you look like Conner, with your light hair and ocean blue eyes. Its side splitting how much you laugh at your silly Pop and painful how good your grip is (especially when you pull my hair out in clumps!) I love you Sir Dean. I have many hopes and dreams for you. I still hurt for you, but as my prayers for you continue always,the pain slowly slips away and my heart is filled with joy, love and dreams for you.
I love ya big guy!
Love MaMaMaMa
You love to snuggle and rock with your Pop. Your smile and laugh light up my heart and world. I cry every night we put on your Dobbs braces but I smile because I have seen such progress. Your teething process equals sleepless nights for us all, but I enjoy the moments we get to cuddle or when you reach up for me. The day you were born, you didn't breath on your own, and when the doctor told me about your feet, I felt like I had done something wrong. I cried for you, I hurt for you....you are my sweet little boy. My sweet 4lb little boy who now wears high water pants because in order for them to fit you in your tiny waist, they reach your shins. The day we first got you casted, I cried. I ached for you. But you are strong. You are so strong they had to put a stage 3 plaster on your cast because you would kick and kick. I hated holding you down. I hated finding out you had to have surgery. I prayed and prayed and prayed. Prayed that you would be ok. I prayed that I would be ok. God knew.God knew we would make it through Sir. God has been with us every step of the way. Through endless carseat tests, to cardiologist appointments, surgery, and now on to PT appointments, God has been with us every step of the way. God is in my heart sweet boy and I can only pray that I can one day instill Him in yours. You are now endlessly trying to catch up with your sister but you are more content to play in your bouncer or sit up by yourself and play with your rattle or football. You don't like to sleep in your crib unless you have your seahorse and "tig tig". But you are my sweet boy. Its ironic how much you look like Conner, with your light hair and ocean blue eyes. Its side splitting how much you laugh at your silly Pop and painful how good your grip is (especially when you pull my hair out in clumps!) I love you Sir Dean. I have many hopes and dreams for you. I still hurt for you, but as my prayers for you continue always,the pain slowly slips away and my heart is filled with joy, love and dreams for you.
I love ya big guy!
Love MaMaMaMa
Monday, November 7, 2011
Paygie Girl
"Paygie Girl, don't you know that I love you....."
(song lyrics stolen from EYB, adjusted by Dede and myself...)
My sweet sweet Payge Elizabeth,
you are 7 months old and "crawling" all over. You bang your head on tile floors, tv stands and baby equipment. You shrill like a dinosaur and giggle at my dancing. You love to swim in the bathtub and kick your legs like a little froggie. I will never forget the day I saw you, how worried I was when you wouldn't take a bottle and you kept spitting up, your precious purple and brown preemie onsie you wore in the hospital, how I cried because I didn't think you liked me, how annoyed you got when your brothers monitors kept going off, the day you pulled the feeding tube out and took a whole bottle so you could come home! I never want to relive the night you were hit in the head with a softball or when we had to hold you down for your CT scan. I love dressing you up, how active you are and that your eyebrows and stork bite get bright red when you are upset! I love you Paygie girl. I never thought I could handle a daughter, a girl...a girlie girl at that. But my heart melts everytime I hold you, or when you let me rock you or how you scream when I leave the room. I love you Paygie girl, and I never knew this kind of love before. You are a stinker, which makes you your momma's girl. :) You love your fruits, veggies, bottle...well you love food! You love squirming all over the place and you love your DeDe. You get a kick out of watching Pop singing and dancing for you and you even try to join in. But Payge, please never forget how much I love you. Please always remember that I prayed for you, before I even met you, and that I continue to pray and pray and pray for you. I pray that I can instill God and faith in your heart like DeDe did for me. I pray that you won't date or even like boys until your are 35. I pray that you will avoid HS drama and just play sports (or be in the band *sigh) and that you put 110% in everything you do. I pray that you have awesome friends like momma does and that you will never think my dancing or singing are "lame." I love you Paygie girl....Momma loves you and I thank God several times a day for blessing me with a sweet precious beautiful little girl. Thank you. Thank you Peanut for completing my world.
Love,
your mommy
(song lyrics stolen from EYB, adjusted by Dede and myself...)
My sweet sweet Payge Elizabeth,
you are 7 months old and "crawling" all over. You bang your head on tile floors, tv stands and baby equipment. You shrill like a dinosaur and giggle at my dancing. You love to swim in the bathtub and kick your legs like a little froggie. I will never forget the day I saw you, how worried I was when you wouldn't take a bottle and you kept spitting up, your precious purple and brown preemie onsie you wore in the hospital, how I cried because I didn't think you liked me, how annoyed you got when your brothers monitors kept going off, the day you pulled the feeding tube out and took a whole bottle so you could come home! I never want to relive the night you were hit in the head with a softball or when we had to hold you down for your CT scan. I love dressing you up, how active you are and that your eyebrows and stork bite get bright red when you are upset! I love you Paygie girl. I never thought I could handle a daughter, a girl...a girlie girl at that. But my heart melts everytime I hold you, or when you let me rock you or how you scream when I leave the room. I love you Paygie girl, and I never knew this kind of love before. You are a stinker, which makes you your momma's girl. :) You love your fruits, veggies, bottle...well you love food! You love squirming all over the place and you love your DeDe. You get a kick out of watching Pop singing and dancing for you and you even try to join in. But Payge, please never forget how much I love you. Please always remember that I prayed for you, before I even met you, and that I continue to pray and pray and pray for you. I pray that I can instill God and faith in your heart like DeDe did for me. I pray that you won't date or even like boys until your are 35. I pray that you will avoid HS drama and just play sports (or be in the band *sigh) and that you put 110% in everything you do. I pray that you have awesome friends like momma does and that you will never think my dancing or singing are "lame." I love you Paygie girl....Momma loves you and I thank God several times a day for blessing me with a sweet precious beautiful little girl. Thank you. Thank you Peanut for completing my world.
Love,
your mommy
What are your resources?
Last Wednesday night, at Church, Pastor Ray asked us what our best resources were? Instantly, I thought "my friends and my family are my best resources."
Some said their cookbooks, while others said prayer, but I stuck to my guns. Without my family and my friends, I would not be where I am today. Without my family sticking by our side when we struggled to become parents or helping us financially become parents, I wouldn't have P2. Without my friends calling, texting, praying or visiting while the babies were in NICU, I wouldn't have survived. My family, my faith, my friends. What more could you need? What more could you desire? What keeps you ticking?
I will never forget the day that we brought both babies home and a friend made a pallet in the babies floor to help us throughout the night. I will never forget a friend that came over daily, for 10 weeks+ to give me my injections. I can never forget my faith, that was instilled in me at such a young age, to help me overcome days of sorrow, days of pity, days of negativity.
So be resourceful. Find resources. Positive resources that help you survive, manage, go without sleep.
Some said their cookbooks, while others said prayer, but I stuck to my guns. Without my family and my friends, I would not be where I am today. Without my family sticking by our side when we struggled to become parents or helping us financially become parents, I wouldn't have P2. Without my friends calling, texting, praying or visiting while the babies were in NICU, I wouldn't have survived. My family, my faith, my friends. What more could you need? What more could you desire? What keeps you ticking?
I will never forget the day that we brought both babies home and a friend made a pallet in the babies floor to help us throughout the night. I will never forget a friend that came over daily, for 10 weeks+ to give me my injections. I can never forget my faith, that was instilled in me at such a young age, to help me overcome days of sorrow, days of pity, days of negativity.
So be resourceful. Find resources. Positive resources that help you survive, manage, go without sleep.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)