Even on my weakest days... (Thank you Sara Evans)

"Woke up late today....
But I'm telling myself it will be ok....
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried...
Even on my weakest days...I get a little bit stronger.....
I get a little bit stronger....."

I started this blog because I needed a way to let my feelings come out. I am a strong person-or at least try to be. I have faith instilled inside of me, but everyone has weak days. Right? Its ok to cry, or at least want to, correct? The overwhelming emotions are taking over today....and HELLO BRICK WALL!! People say "be strong for those babies" or "God will not give you more than you can handle" or "they are doing great, hang in there you will be home soon..." and all of this advice is so so correct, but there are times when you still have to cry. But, sometimes its hard to cry...its hard to just admit that you need to cry because you fear looking frowned upon or that you don't have faith...Well CRAP!
I have faith. Frown on me if you want!! Tell me all the advice you want....I'm still going to cry at times.

The shortest verse in the Bible John 11:35 "Jesus Wept." It's considered the shortest verse in the Bible but it shows how tender and soft Jesus is, and envinces His character as a man.

Parker has been nippling all his feeds for the past several days, but his Brady's have increased....they are going to try to up the caffeine-BUT we can't go home until he has no Brady's for 3 days on the medicine and then 3 days off the meds...so....
Payge is up and down with nippling her feeds.....we can't go home until she nipples all of her feeds in less than 30 minutes.....so....

So, Amanda Wept. It doesn't mean I don't have faith, it doesn't mean that I don't know that God is right here with me, it doesn't mean I am a failure as a mom, that I don't know that I can handle this, or that I am not strong. It means that I am tender, I am in need of comfort and that I am human.

"Even on my weakest of days....I get a little bit STRONGER..."

Thank you God for two precious babies and Lord please just be with my babies and help them grow and get strong and help me be strong for them, even on my weakest of days. God thank you for all the blessings you have given Chris and I and please continue to be with us and our families as we know that you will not give us more than we can handle but sometimes God we just need a little extra "umph" to help us get through that brick wall.