Lean on Me...

"Lean on me, when your not strong...I'll be there to help you carry on...we all need somebody to lean on"

As I prepared to blog today, this song was in my head. Its part of life. Sometimes it is just easier to lean on someone...during the good times and the bad. Often we forget that God is not sitting on a cloud above, that He is sitting right next to us, and too often we try to shoulder everything ourselves and forget to lean on Him in not only our times of despair but also our times of Praise. When God created mankind, He didn't make us flawless...because if we were we would have a lot more patience than we do now and we would have an easier time understanding and grasping that everything, EVERYTHING happens in His time and we just need to throw our timeline of life out the stinking window.....

Having Chris here on the weekends sure makes things alot easier for me. He is my someone to lean on, and life just seems so much easier when he is around. He is strong when I am weak, he is funny when I am stressed, he is patient when I am far from it.... He is my someone to lean on when I forget that God is right next to me. The babies had a pretty good weekend. Parker had a cluster of Brady's so they put him back on air flow to help him remember to take deep breaths and keep his heart rate up. He is nippling a bottle 3x a day and is taking in 14mills each time. Payge is not so interested in taking a bottle...I think she is struggling so much with her reflux that she is just afraid of gagging. She did attemp to take her pacifier several times this weekend so we count that as success. She is not spitting up as much which is huge. Parker is 5lbs 3 oz and sister is 4lbs 10oz!! We cant believe how much they are growing.

Speaking of leaning on someone....mom came up with me today because the Speech Therapist is going to come work with Payge some this morning and talk to us about her suck/swallow/breath reflex and give us ideas on how to help her develop it and not be traumatized by the bottle or sassy. I was so scared to come up by myself this morning because I feared being overwhelmed with information or not remembering or just blanking out...so thankfully I have mom to lean on now.

Saturday we talked our nurse and the charge nurse into letting all the grandparents (my parents and chris') come back at once. Usually we can only have 3-4 people in the room at a time. We wanted the grandparents to get a chance to hold since they hadn't gotten to yet. We debated on how to work this out, trying to be fair(we majorly stress out over trying to be fair even though it should be the least of our concern it somehow falls at the top of our list daily) so we somehow talked the nurse into letting them all come back and hold for 10 mins!! The 10mins flew by but the looks on their faces was totally worth all the stress. Both sets of grandparents were overwhelmed with joy!

Isaiah 40:31 "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

So, thank you God for not sitting above, up on a cloud, but for being right next to me so I can lean on you, when I am not strong....and everyone else who has prayed for us, thought about us, visited us, sent things...thank you for being there for us to lean on, and Chris...thank you for being strong when I am not, for letting me be strong for you when you are not able to, for making life easier by just being around and for helping take care of things I just can't deal with, for being you, and for loving me.....

"We all need, somebody to lean on......"