24 years ago, God blessed me with an amazing little brother. At the time, I was not content with a little pesky brother, and wanted a puppy. I got one, but the puppy didn't make the crying red headed terror go away. I tried giving him away at Wal Mart...and when Mom told me that wasn't nice, I tried selling him for a penny.
Many times throughout the years, the red headed, big eyed, brother of mine caused me some pain and grief...like when we stuck my face to the couch while my parents were gone, or after I struck him out and he chased me with a red plastic bat and hit me in the head. But also, many times throughout the years, he has been there for me, to help me or bail me out of a bind, like when I needed some fast cash to tow my car or when he didn't agree with someone I was dating.
No longer are the days that we argue or compete (no we still occassionally tatle on each other but its sibling love).No longer are the days that I look at him and cringe when he is crying, instead we lend each other a shoulder, or when him and mom may disagree, I try to play a mentor to him in the situation instead of running to mom and telling what he said or did.
As I watch my brother coach softball, work on lesson plans and play with the babies, I realize that God blessed me with a great brother and an amazing friend. God knew we would have each others temper, love for sports and competition, but God also knew we needed each other. That is why DJ never sold at Wal Mart, or why the injuries he sustained from me pushing him out of a chair, or putting him in the dryer were never intense or severe, because God knew that my ornery, red headed, spit fire of a little brother would someday become one of my best friends. He knew that I would need him in life, especially when I brought Payge home and Chris was still in Fairfax, DJ took the midnight to3am shift and rocked Peanut for me so I could sleep. So I am thankful and grateful for a little brother that is not so little any more, but has now grown into a charming, smart, handsome and soft hearted young man who I am proud to call my "little brother".
I love you Uncle DJ
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Happy Birthday
I have been putting this post off and putting it off, and I honestly thought I could make it to his birthday on Saturday, but every day I am fighing back tears, so I here it goes....
3 years ago (on September 17), God blessed the world with an amazing little boy. A little boy who had touched more hearts than he will ever know or remeber. A little boy that taught me how to be a mom and to open my heart and my eyes. I will never forget "Thunder" (a nickname my brother game him because of his legs, lol). I will never forget those 6 weeks that he made me "Mmmmma" and Chris "Dada". I will never forget the well he fit into my arms, the way he only liked Chris giving him baths, his favorite orange sippie cup or our first Thanksgiving with him. I will always fight back the tears when we drive past Sand Springs McDonalds, where we first met him. I will always laugh at his jacket, it said "Future Quarterback" and if you ever met him, you would know that he was not built like a quarterback, but more like a lineman! :)
I will never forget his rocking horse and how much he loved it-thank you Grammy Jackie.
Everytime I see a Christmas ornament out of place, I will think of him and how we used to hide the ornaments around my parents house.
My heart aches for him. I know he would have been an amazing big brother to the nuggets. I know that he would be all over the house, up and down the sideline and down at the barn with my dad. But he's not. One place he will aways remain, is in my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, or pray for him, or kiss the charm that Britt got me off him.
3 years ago, he was born to a mom who wasn't quite sure if she wanted him or not. 3 years ago, God created someone who helped me and taught me and blessed me. In 6 weeks, Thunder made me a better person. In 6 short weeks, God showed me how caring and loving a small town can be. Clothes were brought over, helping hands were given, and love was shown, all because of a little boy that was born 3 years ago. A little boy who will never know the impact he made on so many peoples lives. A little boy whose smile could light up the sky, a little boy who loved Christmas lights, dancing to music and his "Fairfax Nana." I loved him as my own. I loved him more than I thought I could. I loved him, and thought God was going to make him mine. But God had other plans....
I went from sad, to angry, past hurt, to understanding....(and not that quickly). I hated, I cried, I fought, I finally got it.
God used him to teach me, and to help me grow. I wanted him. I wanted to be his mommy. I wanted to watch him grow and provide for him in so many ways, ways that I am not sure he will have.
But God had other plans.....
God still wanted me to learn and grow.....but in other ways.
So, Happy Birthday buddy. I will never forget you, or your sweet blue eyes, or how you would stand at Nana's door and cry when "Dada" dropped you off, or the picture of you in your santa hat, or how you loved only the meatballs when I made spaghetti. I will never forget your first trip to Bass Pro, or your orange sippee cup, or how Pop let you drink Diet Mt Dew out of his QT cup. I will never forget watching you play with Patrick at the school in the gym, or on the playground at McDonalds or how Jumps made your poop neon green! :)
I love you little guy, and that is why this week has been hard on me. I pray for you, and please know that I will always love you and pray for you.
Happy 3rd Birthday!
3 years ago (on September 17), God blessed the world with an amazing little boy. A little boy who had touched more hearts than he will ever know or remeber. A little boy that taught me how to be a mom and to open my heart and my eyes. I will never forget "Thunder" (a nickname my brother game him because of his legs, lol). I will never forget those 6 weeks that he made me "Mmmmma" and Chris "Dada". I will never forget the well he fit into my arms, the way he only liked Chris giving him baths, his favorite orange sippie cup or our first Thanksgiving with him. I will always fight back the tears when we drive past Sand Springs McDonalds, where we first met him. I will always laugh at his jacket, it said "Future Quarterback" and if you ever met him, you would know that he was not built like a quarterback, but more like a lineman! :)
I will never forget his rocking horse and how much he loved it-thank you Grammy Jackie.
Everytime I see a Christmas ornament out of place, I will think of him and how we used to hide the ornaments around my parents house.
My heart aches for him. I know he would have been an amazing big brother to the nuggets. I know that he would be all over the house, up and down the sideline and down at the barn with my dad. But he's not. One place he will aways remain, is in my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, or pray for him, or kiss the charm that Britt got me off him.
3 years ago, he was born to a mom who wasn't quite sure if she wanted him or not. 3 years ago, God created someone who helped me and taught me and blessed me. In 6 weeks, Thunder made me a better person. In 6 short weeks, God showed me how caring and loving a small town can be. Clothes were brought over, helping hands were given, and love was shown, all because of a little boy that was born 3 years ago. A little boy who will never know the impact he made on so many peoples lives. A little boy whose smile could light up the sky, a little boy who loved Christmas lights, dancing to music and his "Fairfax Nana." I loved him as my own. I loved him more than I thought I could. I loved him, and thought God was going to make him mine. But God had other plans....
I went from sad, to angry, past hurt, to understanding....(and not that quickly). I hated, I cried, I fought, I finally got it.
God used him to teach me, and to help me grow. I wanted him. I wanted to be his mommy. I wanted to watch him grow and provide for him in so many ways, ways that I am not sure he will have.
But God had other plans.....
God still wanted me to learn and grow.....but in other ways.
So, Happy Birthday buddy. I will never forget you, or your sweet blue eyes, or how you would stand at Nana's door and cry when "Dada" dropped you off, or the picture of you in your santa hat, or how you loved only the meatballs when I made spaghetti. I will never forget your first trip to Bass Pro, or your orange sippee cup, or how Pop let you drink Diet Mt Dew out of his QT cup. I will never forget watching you play with Patrick at the school in the gym, or on the playground at McDonalds or how Jumps made your poop neon green! :)
I love you little guy, and that is why this week has been hard on me. I pray for you, and please know that I will always love you and pray for you.
Happy 3rd Birthday!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Never grow up...
Wow. So much has gone on since I blogged last. Parker has gone from casts to Dobbs braces. Yes, they suck. They have been such a huge transition for us and the little guy. He does not like them at all. So far he has had major blisters, blood blisters and discoloring in his legs. When he screams and kicks while I put them on, I feel like the worst mom in the world. I literally have to walk away when I am done to gather myself so I don't break down and just pull the stinkers off his feet and throw them in the trash!! My mom keeps telling me that it is helping him in the long run, but the day to day is so hard when he screams in pain.
We have also experienced our first "colds" with both babies, and they are starting to cut teeth so life is eventful here at Hickory Hills.
Some upsides, we have tried oatmeal and carrots...they hated the carrots but enjoyed the oatmeal. They are attempting to hold their own bottle, and do so, for a very short time. We have transitioned from our 0-3 and 3 month clothes to our 3-6 and 6 month clothes. I never thought my premiee babies would be weighing 15.2 and 14.9 lbs respectedly. We have come such a long way from 4.1lbs and 4.12lbs .
Every night the babies listen to a CD that their TT made them, and the very last song is "Never grow up" by Taylor Swift. I used this song on my Pre K video last year, and now as I listen to it night after night, the words really begin to hit me. Life passes us by so quickly. Our snuggle bugs grow up and no longer want to be rocked to sleep, Our premiee outfits are soon stored in boxes in the garage, size 2 diapers become a little tighter and suddenly "we grow up."
I don't wish for my babies to grow up. I look forward to the milestones and memories that they will soon have and I have goals for them to one day accomplish, but for now, I will enjoy the millions of dirty diapers, the spit up, the bath times, the late nights and early mornings, for now, I will wish them to not grow up, and to keep enjoy the quiet moments that they are curled up on my chest, without a care in the world....
I love you babies and "I won't let nobody hurt you...just try to never grow up"
We have also experienced our first "colds" with both babies, and they are starting to cut teeth so life is eventful here at Hickory Hills.
Some upsides, we have tried oatmeal and carrots...they hated the carrots but enjoyed the oatmeal. They are attempting to hold their own bottle, and do so, for a very short time. We have transitioned from our 0-3 and 3 month clothes to our 3-6 and 6 month clothes. I never thought my premiee babies would be weighing 15.2 and 14.9 lbs respectedly. We have come such a long way from 4.1lbs and 4.12lbs .
Every night the babies listen to a CD that their TT made them, and the very last song is "Never grow up" by Taylor Swift. I used this song on my Pre K video last year, and now as I listen to it night after night, the words really begin to hit me. Life passes us by so quickly. Our snuggle bugs grow up and no longer want to be rocked to sleep, Our premiee outfits are soon stored in boxes in the garage, size 2 diapers become a little tighter and suddenly "we grow up."
I don't wish for my babies to grow up. I look forward to the milestones and memories that they will soon have and I have goals for them to one day accomplish, but for now, I will enjoy the millions of dirty diapers, the spit up, the bath times, the late nights and early mornings, for now, I will wish them to not grow up, and to keep enjoy the quiet moments that they are curled up on my chest, without a care in the world....
I love you babies and "I won't let nobody hurt you...just try to never grow up"
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