Unanswered Prayers..

"Some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers..."

Yesterday Parker did his car seat test and we prayed and prayed and prayed that he would pass it...and with around 22 minutes left, he had a Brady-where his heart rate drops below 80-and so he automatically failed. I was crushed, devestated, and saddened but then it hit me, I had prayed my little heart out and I truly felt that God was with us, so I knew that there was a reason that God didn't answer my prayers...Parker and God aren't ready to go home yet. Its not about when I am ready for him to go home...Its about when God is ready for us to all go home. Am I still sad...yes. Does it still hurt to have only one child at "home" with me...very much so. But is Parker where he needs to be until he overcomes the Brady's? Most definately. Thank you God for an unanswered prayer.

Another unanswered prayer we have lived is when we had Conner. Conner was our angel baby. He gave Chris and I the chance to prove that we could be parents. He gave us room in our heart to love another person. We prayed and prayed and prayed for Conner to be a part of our family...but that is not what God had in store for us. If things would have gone through with us and Conner...then we wouldn't have the Nuggets-and I TRULY believe that. Do we still ache over Conner....yes. Do I still believe he would have made a hell of a big brother...most definately. Do I still love him...very much so. But once again....thank you God for an unanswered prayer.

The power of prayer is very strong. If you do not know Christ or do not have a faith...look at Chris and I. Not saying that we are the most amazing examples to follow...but the power of prayer truly has blessed us in countless ways. There is NO way I could have gone through what I have over the years without God by my side, His love in my heart and faith to guide me. Prayer can be frustrating because sometimes we forget that just because we may not get the answer we want doesn't mean that God doesn't care or hear us. His answers are what matter. The "unanswered prayers" can often be confused as God not listening...but we all have to realize that once we turn it over to God...it is in HIS time and in HIS hands and HIS will WILL be done.

Thank you God for my "unanswered prayers." Thank you for helping fill my saddened heart with your love and your light. Thank you for giving us dr's that can help Parker grow and overcome these bradicardic episodes.

"Sometimes God's greates gifts, are unanswered prayers..."