One down one to go

So here we are, 6 weeks into our journey of having premature babies and we have one baby (Lil Miss Payge) released from the hospital and one (Sir Parker) still having problems with his low heart rate. Luckily, Chris took off work this week and has been able to help me with Payge. We alternate staying with Parker at the hospital and going to my mom and dad's with Payge. Either way, there is no sleep involved. :)

Parker redid his car seat test yesterday and we called out to all our prayer warriors--but he didn't pass. He had 24 minutes remaining and he had a Brady (low heart rate). Bless his little heart he did so good. We are past the point of frustration by now. Not with anyone, but the situation. Parker has had 54 Brady's in 9 days...which is way too many. His formula and meds have been changed back and forth and nothing is helping the reflux-which is causing the Brady's. It seems like we are stuck on a hamster wheel spinning around and around and getting nowhere.

This afternoon we have a consult with our primary neonatalist (or however you spell it) and we are going to discuss what we can do to help the heart rate stay up. What meds, formulas, actions we can take to help my baby boy get better and pass this stinking car seat test.

What is a car seat test you may ask? Well since we live out of the Tulsa area, the babies have to sit in their car seat for 2 hours and not have any Bradys (where their heart rate drops below 80), no Desats (where their pulse ox drops below 89) and no sleep apneas. Seems like a lot to ask from a little 7lb 1oz little boy who just wants to go home with his sissy. :(

Last night I finally hit my breaking point and cried. I think I even told one of the nurses that this placed sucked!! I didn't mean it like that....I just meant that this situation stinks because we are so ready to go home..ALL 4 of US!!

An associate pastor from our Home Church came up this morning to pray with Parker and I...and I told her that even though I have faith and believe in Jesus...that this is starting to wear on me. I told her I felt bad that I was getting frustrated. As tears filled her eyes and she prayed with me, it hit me that once again I am trying to control things. I am trying to get Parker home on my time because I want to go to my mom's retirement party, or graduation, or because summer basketball is starting soon...but what is most important is that God heals Parker. And He will. In HIS time. And me, being the human that I am...am having a hard time dealing with His time.

So, as we wait a few more days for yet another car seat test (maybe the 3rd time will be a charm) and as exhaustion kicks in...I find myself praying even harder for my little boy and our family. Please God, help Parker with his Brady's and be with Chris and I as we take care of Peanut.