Scattered Thoughts...

As I sit here trying to think of a catchy title or a scripture to bounce off my head....nothing comes to mind. For once in my life, I, Amanda Ott Henderson, am at a loss for words. Well, I wouldn't technically say loss...I would say more like too scattered for words.

This morning Chris and I had decided that he would come up to the hospital with the babies so that I could go work on some Pre K stuff at my mom's office while she did some testing. Needless to say, this being my first day away from the babies in the morning, my mind started off scattered. I eventually ran out of things to do at my mom's office and made a dash to Wal Mart to pick up some things I needed for the babies and graduation gifts. On the way there I get a random text from Chris saying "They are going to do the babies sleep studies." I think to myself "they dont  do sleep studies until they pass their carseat tests..." so automatically I call Chris and ask whats going on. He tells me that Dr Miranda came in and was surprised at how well the babies were doing and decided to take Parker off of his caffeine so he can do his car seat test Sunday (you have to be off the meds for 48 hrs) and to do Payge's carseat test today!!! I sped-legally-back to Inola to get my mom and we flew-yes her Honda Accord actually grew wings-to the hospital. They had already started her test and it was supposed to last 2 hrs....well I was a nervous wreck for that time and Chris finally told me I was stressing him out so I stepped outside to the waiting room with my mom....

Well, Payge PASSED her car seat test!! We made her appointment with her Dr, went over her stretches with the OT, learned how to pack-yes pack her with a trillion blankets-her into her car seat and now she is currently taking her sleep test. If things go well, she will be discharged tomorrow.....this is where more scattered thoughts kick in......

What do we do? This was always a fear of ours-having twins in intensive care-that one would get discharged before the other one, but we just always assumed that it would be Parker--but Peanut proved us wrong. After going over formula perscriptions, how to add calories to the formula and other paper work....we asked ourselves "what are we going to do??" So we call the nurse in and ask her the million dollar question "if Payge is released, can she come back up with us when we come see Parker??" Well luckily we have an AMAZING nurse who calls her supervisor who okay's it for us to bring her back up here!!

Now as I sit here and listen to Payge cry-and since she is doing the sleep study we cannot touch or hold her- my thoughts are joyous...but still scattered. The light in the tunnel seems so close. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow seems so big. The hilly journey we have been on for 5 weeks seems to finally have smoothed out....but wait!! Reality kicks in. We now have to be parents 24 hours!! We are used to being 10-12hr parents. Now we have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed them, change them and take care of them when they cry. Man....more scattered thoughts!!

So, scattered thoughts fill my mind, joyous thoughts fill my mind and endless love fills my heart....

Please continue to pray for the Nuggets and Chris and I as we move our journey, or at least part of it, outside the walls of the PICU