Therapy Session

Instead of paying $150 some odd bucks for therapy session, I figured I could blog.....
So for far warning, take what I type in stride and realize that even though I am fighting back tears of stress, I still am laughing on the inside and have a strong sense of humor....

I have many friends who have recently entered "Motherhood." I also have a select few of friends who have not quite yet had the "joy" of doing so. This can bring on some interesting conversations. Most of my "motherhood" friends are strong, amazing women who smile through it all. I have friends who are single moms, moms of multiples. struggling moms, stay at home moms, working moms, and some who are even Head Coaches of a sport or two. Phew. Praise mom's of all kind.

Many of you know that our journey to parenthood was a struggle. The way I see it, it could have been easier, but then again, it could have been harder. We were blessed with Parker and Payge and not a day goes by that I don't thank God for making me a Mom. But goodness gracious....why didn't someone tell me how hard it was going to be??? I, in all honesty, thought being a Mom was full of playing and laughing and cute dress up clothes. I had no idea that I would struggle, or even cry at times.

I have a good friend who is an amazing mom. She is actually one of the people I call about any concern I have. I have seen her stay up late with her son to play dinosaurs, or watch movies, wake up early with a fussy girl. I have seen her smile, laugh, enjoy. I didn't see what happend behind closed doors. I have another good friend who is a mom of 3 and has a set of twin boys. I called her while I locked myself in my bedroom and asked her if it was ok to cry? Not only did she laugh at me, she encouraged me to cry. She down right said that it was ok not to be supermom and to let the tears fall.

I have a fear. I fear that God will see my frustrations, my tears and think that I am ungrateful. I am far from ungrateful. I am often overwhelmed, but I love having twins. I fear that if I say "1 baby is easy" then God will think I can't handle it and something will happen to one of my sweet babies. A fear. A fear that I feel in my mind but know in my heart that luckily we don't serve a mean and evil God.

People often stop and ask us how life with twins is. My only reply, "interesting." Others have hurt my feelings by questioning why I keep my kiddos on a schedule, but not only do I do it for them, I do it for myself. I love the fact that if we are on schedule, they are down for the night no later than 7:45pm. I enjoy the fact that I know for a fact they will take a great morning nap and on the weekends I fully take advantage of it. But it seems like no sooner than I get one of strept throat or an ear infection, the next one is coming down with something. It never fails that I get one calmed down from pulling up and knocking their head on something, that the next one is screaming about being stuck under a table or something. Its endless. Its tiring. Its "interesting" to say the least.

So, welcome to "motherhood." Where a sense of humor can go a long ways. All your supermom's out there, lets band together. Pour yourself a glass of wine, lock the bedroom door, cry into your pillow....but never forget to Thank God for your sweet baby (or babies). Never forget that there is always someone to talk to, to calm you down or hear your cry.
Hang in there Mommies!!!
God Speed!