Falling Down....

Growing up, I was possibly the most uncordinated, clumsiest, ungraceful "athlete" you could come across. I could shoot a jumpshot, invented the "Ott Flop" and go 98% from the freethrow but I would be the one that fell in the lunch line, tripped over the imaginary line or fell out of my seat. Being coordinated (with the exception of hand/eye coordination at the plate) was not something I was blessed with. I often got bruises or skinned up knees for falling down.
Recently, I have been doing alot of falling. Falling as a person, struggling in a new workplace, failing as a wife and friend.....but gone are the skinned up knees and bruises. Hello crushed heart and devestated ego. Welcome to a life of uncertianty, uncoordination. Being new to a workplace in the middle of the year is a huge transition. Going from a fit, athletic body to a "I JUST had twins" body is confidence breaking. Transitioning from a Head coach to just being a 2nd grade teacher is ego altering.

It seems like my dreams have been falling apart and I am left with a tired, broken heart, mind and spirit. But then I remember I am not alone. I have someone who loves me, even with my mom jeans and teacher voice. I often forget that God made me a promise, a promise that He would always be with me. That even when I fall, time and time again, God is there, patiently waiting to help me off the ground and shake the dirt off.

Too often, it seems as if we have to fall "one too many times" before we remember to look up. To look up for the hope that we need, or for the peace we need to refill us and help us realize that we can do it and with each and every fall we become a little stronger....or in my case, more stubborn.

I know I will continue to stumble and fall, but deep down inside I know that what doesn't break me, only makes me stronger. I will not let the falls get me down. I will not let the falls break my spirit. I will not let the falls tire me or allow me to grow weary. Next time I fall, instead of looking around to see what caused it, I will look up and see God patiently sticking His hand out to me once again.....